Don't feel sorry for me-- this is pure, lame, whining.
And I have nothing to whine about.
Everything's cool, everything's peachy, except every single person in this house is waking up on the wrong side of the bed.
We had fights this morning about one boy coughing on the other. What was it last night that everyone was peeing their pants over? Oh, right. One kid was so thirsty they were "going to die!" and someone had toothpaste flicked on them.
One kid didn't have the toothbrush he wanted.
I feel tired/grouchy just typing this.
So last night, after I screamed at all my kids and sent 3 out of 4 of them to bed crying,
(I wish I was kidding. I hang my head in shame)
I headed down to the computer. And to make a long story short (TOO LATE!), I backed up all my kids' funny comments you see over there on my sidebar. I don't want to lose them, see.
And then, I ended up laughing so hard I's crying.
Allow me to share my faves with you, would ya? The real oldies are the best, I think. And I could use another good laugh this morning. 'Cause apparently we all need to get to bed at like 7 pm tonight or something.
So without further ado,
I give you: kids' quotes. Best of the best.
Jamison: "Mom! Why are you taking so long?" Me: "Um, hello, sweetcheeks? You can get up and get that yourself." Jamison (pouting, says very quietly): "Why did you call me 'buttcheeks'?"
Jace: "Mom, Cookie Monster drinks coffee. AND, he smokes. Just not on the show."
Jace: "Did you know that vampires have blood on their waffles instead of syrup? They do. They do the same thing for pancakes."
Jamison (making a Christmas card):" Mom, how do you spell Horz?" (sounds just like Whores), Me: "What??" " I want to say 'ho' 'ho' ho' but I want to call them ho-ers." Me:"Um you can't call them that." Jamison: "Fine. How do you spell 'Merry Christmas, Ho's!' ?"
Jamison: "If I were the adult and you were the kid, I would have let YOU stay in the pool as long as you wanted."
Jace: "Mom I'm birsty." Jamison: "Jace, what the heck is 'birsty'? It starts with an 'f'".
Jamison: "Mommy I'm hungry! You think of something for me." (me being so sick of this question): "Okay, how 'bout poop on a stick?" Jamison: "Poop on a stick? That's delicious??"
Me: "Jace did ya wipe your bum?" Jace: "Yep, I did. Last week."
Jace: "Mom what is that on your face?" Me:"Oh it's just a zit." Jace: "It looks like an alien."
Jamison: "MOM. You didn't give me my after school snack!" Me: "Um dude, I never had an after school snack, so chill." Jamison: "That's 'cause you were always bad."
Jamison: "Daddy, can we play tag? If ya say no you're gonna get a hard spankin'."
Jace: "Hey, that's not our car! That's a truck!" Me: "Actually that's an SUV." Jace: "Oh yeah. An S.O.B."
Jamison (age 4): "I didn't turn this computer on so you could check your email."
I'm feeling much better already.