Sunday, June 14, 2015

I Hate People. Some People. Handymen People.

Can you believe that it was over three months ago that I mentioned having my kitchen redone?
I swear, the older I get, weeks pass like days, and months like weeks. It's nuts. My life is just a flash in the pan.
Kay, so, I'm getting mad even thinking about this. Furrowed brow and scrunched up face. My head is wagging and so is my finger. I hired this dude and paid a down to have my cabinets "professionally" refinished 10 weeks ago.
Do you know how many times I could have refinished my cabinets all by myself in 10 weeks? Ew I'd like to junk punch somebody. And the thing is, I have zero desire to do all that work myself, hence paying this dude (who had great reviews, by the way, until I'm through with him. Sinister voice. Maniacal laughter.).
Alright alright, I'm going on and on, so let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up:
The guy won't give me a straight answer about when he's going to be able to get here and do this. I've asked him first politely to stop stringing me along and be profesh, OR
send back my deposit and I will curse his name to the end of my days. Oy.
The most pathetic part, is I distinctly remember, as I signed a contract and wrote out a check, something along these lines:
"I will have a heart attack and die from the surprise if this guy actually shows up on his appointed day."
Because that's the kind of experience I've had every.single.time whilst hiring out something. Just do it yourself people! Or send me your responsible, non-jerkface guy's info, because I'm striking out.
But anyways! On to happier things!  The sun is out and it's beautiful out there and we simply cannot, cannot have this kind of negativity in our lives. Of course not.
So, in preparation for the nonexistent cabinet reno,
I pulled down this random lone cabinet buddy. (Except it wasn't decorated like this- it was super cute with these dainty little tea cups and saucers and a tea pot and it was just adorbs, because hello, it's not fall.)
Anyway, I pulled this down. All by myself. When no one was home. On a stepladder. And it was like one of the dumbest things I've ever done because it was ultra heavy and I was pretty freaked there for a minute thinking,
"I'm going to fall off this stepladder and this thing is going to fall on my head and no one will know and my kids will find me and they'll be traumitized for life because there's their mom, like all decapitated on the kitchen floor and their lives will be ruined and then they'll live in a cardboard box."
But thankfully I manhandled this bad boy down to the ground, and while it wasn't pretty, it got done. And I've learned an important lesson, kids.
Then I began building the crappiest floating shelves that ever were.
I'm serious-- they're crappy. This is not my first rodeo, hello, but for whatever reason I sucked these up. Despite my best intentions, they are not my best work. I was having a seriously off day. (Chosing too deep of shelves to be cantilievered: check.)
But let's not talk about that now- I like them for now. I like open shelving. Love it and have always wanted that for this space.

I hemmed and hawed over white, stained, rustic, or black, and went with black for funsies. Also, love love the one coat of black.
And the funnestest part was putting my new black n white dishes from Ikea up here.
Honestly, I can't say for certain that these will stay for any length of time because my shoddy work bugs me. I like them for now, but reserve the right to switch them out with fancy corbels 'n such. I like changes in my most lived in space, what can I say.
Also, send me your best prank ideas, would ya? This handyman guy deserves a little harmless something his way. I've got a few ideas, and they involve dog poop and firecrackers.


Sherron said...

Oy, I've been doing the great debate with hiring the job or doing it myself for months. I really want my cabinets painted. I love the idea of not doing the work- but the money- oh the money.
I'm frustrated for you with the waiting game- seriously 10 weeks? I am so sorry.

james and bess said...

Love the black and white dishes!! Switching subjects, what a craptastic cabinet experience. Ugh. While I would love to send you diagrams that would make Tom & Jerry look like amateurs about how to ignite poo and fling it onto every available surface of this scumface, first I feel compelled to suggest contacting the licensing board about him. You know, that no-fun, red-tape-filled line of action. But if that doesn't work, let me know. :)


paula said...

I adore your kitchen! You all have made such great decisions along the way, and it is truly lovely! :)

Paula M @ One Serendra

Rosemary said...

I know just how you feel Mandi. We bought new carpet back in January. It was faulty so had to be taken back up and replaced with new carpet. After three more attempts to get the house carpeted we finally got achieved a house full of non faulty carpet 11 weeks later! Our house was packed up and in our farm shed all this time and I'm still getting it back in order.

We installed a new kitchen two and a half years ago and the bench tops proved to be faulty - just poor quality workmanship from the benchtop manufacturer. We are still waiting for new benchtops. The kitchen company is helpful in supporting our claim but forgets about us unless nagged for a while. We are hoping for new benchtops before the end of this year.

I hope your handyman problems are sorted out very soon.

Creative Decor by Brooke said...

UUUgggghhhh! Nothing makes me madder than waiting for "the guy" to show up. Drives me crazy...why can't they just do what they say. I don't know if I would tackle that on my own although I know you could do it. It would be to much for me. Can't wait to see what happens here. :/

Libby said...

hope you're able to cancel the cheque. Bet he cashed it though.
I hired a company to redo our entire outside-windows, siding, roof, soffits, fascia (who knew they aren't automatically included with siding) & eavestroughs (same, not automatically included). They were great, I was supervising them most of the time & we only had one small mis-communication...get this, concerning doorbell terminology!
I really like the black & white shelves & dishes.

Maura said...

Oh joy. Handymen. Contractors. Plumbers. Electricians. Angie's list has lied to me so much. Our best experience has been "well, ok I guess". Sorry!

Veronica said...

Have your bank reclaim your money from the jerk. You may tell him about it first, seeing if that helps get his bum in gear. Ridiculous!

Rebecca D said...

I have all kinds of "pranks" but posting them here may get me branded a total meanie so I will refrain... But should you decide you want a little harmless glee message me! ;)

Hippymom83 said...

I've been having the same experience with my chimney man. He's been in the process of making several repairs on our chimney and fireplace for, honestly now, 15 months! And I can't even complain because he's the ONLY chimney repair guy within hours of my house. And he's old-school Apostolic Christian, which for some reason makes me feel as if bad-mouthing him is blasphemous or something. But whatever. I guess it will get finished eventually. And I've only given him partial payment as each phase gets completed. So I'm not really "out" any money. It would just be nice to be done.