Sunday, February 15, 2015

Good Thing We're Perfect.

Do you know what I think is so interesting about blogging?

I could just put up all my pretty, carefully chosen pictures from the trips we just took, and we could look all happy and like we had just the time of our lives with no care in the world--

Rainbows 'n unicorns.  Sunshine 'n cool drinks.

I could make us look like that family.  Perfect-ish.  I could leave out that the kids whined and moaned all through Chinatown,

And one of my kids was a total pill and tried to make me promise I wouldn't make him go on a trip again for a long time and I threw up my hands and repeatedly said something along the lines of,

"What kid complains about going on a cruise?? That is so messed up!"

Or, you know, I could leave out the tired, mega-meltdown #4 had on the beach. I could not mention that the boat rocked incessantly on the way home, and one night I could barely sleep because of it.

I could leave out all the yelling and how I still can't decide if I was disciplining too much or too little, and why do you kids have to act like little idiots if we get anywhere near an escalator or elevator, hello?

Calm down. Stop climbing crap. Help me pull some freaking luggage-- no mom cannot pull five pieces by herself, duh.

My son didn't accidentally kick a stranger's bike helmet off a bench and into the ocean,

and an airplane passenger ahead of Thing 3 didn't turn around and ask him to stop kicking his chair.

My oldest didn't yell he hated me in a random South Carolina gas station.

 No, my daughter did not color on the dining room tablecloth.


There was no fighting. No smacking, no kicking, no pinching.
No one peed their pants. No one barfed in the rental car.

And I never, ever, scratched my head and wondered what the hades was wrong with me when I planned and spent that much dough for this. Nope.

Nothing but good, wholesome memories over here.

Yeah. We're pretty amazing. We're sorry you're not us, too. 


james and bess said...

Great pictures! And the commentary sounds about right. You know what's funny? I bet when the kids are older and see these pictures, they won't remember any of the crazifying stuff, just the good stuff. :)

P.S. My kids (and I) would totally watch "Zombies vs. My Little Ponies" - you should pitch that to the Cartoon Network.

Bess :)

Rach said...

This. Is pretty much awesome. Love your posts! You have me laughing every time. It's cuz you speak the truth and we all know it.

Jacquelyn Cory said...


Did you have good time?


Rhonda said...

I was lauging so hard that I had to have my kids come over and read it!

Jackie said...

I love it. And why can't kids appreciate how great their parents really are?

Evelyn said...

This post makes me happy. :) Not because I'm trying to be mean, but because it boosts my own self-esteem. The pictures are awesome!!

Bon-Bon said...

Where did you go? Did I see San Fran and Alcatraz?? But then you were in SC? Do tell. Dying of curiosity here. And rest assured, dear mama, the icky stuff will fade away. We've all had our fair share of whining, peeing, puking, etc. Oh, yes.

Juli G said...

We took the kids to DC a few years back. We were talking about Ford theater and I asked Oldest if he remembered being in it. He said "No. we never went there." To which I replied "Oh yeah, that was the vacation in which you continued to roll your eyes and say 'NO MORE LEARNING!!!"


I feel your pain.

Carla said...

this is why i love your blog. and you take great photos.

Leah Ketchum said...

Love your honesty, your pictures and your writing style. I feel like I go through withdrawel when I dont check in on your blog. :)

Kim Young said...

You are the perfect family. We took a roadtrip many years ago from Virginia to Niagra Falls. With 5 kids between the ages of 2 and 15. We camped the whole way. I hate camping. I can match you story for story - including the barfing one, which occurred, unluckily for us, in our tent trailer, in the middle of the night - and again, in the pool where we enjoyed barf and explosive.. well, you get the picture. I guess I should be happy that we owned the tent trailer.. or you should be happy that you didn't own the car! Anyway - all these years later, all I mostly remember are the happy moments. And the not so happy ones, which I honestly don't remember all that much - i know there were WAY more - are now hilarious to talk about. You are the perfect family, and your next trip will pale in comparison. Thank you for sharing this one and reminding me of ours! -Kim

mother hen said...

I googled "router tutorials" and your blog popped up. I've had a router for a year and frankly, it terrifies me. I may or I may not call the router "Chuckie" when its not listening.
I read your router tute - and conquered my fear of Chuckie - Now - off to router anything that I can clamp down whilst contemplating a new name for my new bestie - the router...
Cant thank you enough


Rebecca D said...

Hahahahaha... It's funny, when my girls look back at photo albums they remember all the fun stuff. There was one trip in particular that my husband & I refer to as the trip from you know where... Over Christmas one of my daughters said she thinks it was one of our best vacations! My husband said "yeah, well you were on a different trip then your mother and I." and we both cracked up.

Michelle Wilkes said...

This post reminds me why I love you. Please keep on keeping it real. And no one has that much trip amnesia. You will remember the icky parts too- the weird thing is that it will be hilarious to you in 20 years- and great material for embarrassing your kids (aka payback)At least, that's what I'm counting on.
Our favorite puking (and pooping in the tub) episode was at my brothers house. He's a lawyer, his wife is a doctor- they have 1 child. We so overwhelmed them. And it makes me chuckle when I think about it now.

Pattie Moss said...

You crack me up! I love the 3 little tanned girls in the last pic. Little brown berries and one with freckles. :D It looks like it was a fun time.

Chiemi said...

This post is just what I needed to read this morning!

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