I was asked to teach a DIY class to women. IN MY GARAGE.
And if you've ever been in my garage, heh, then you know it was an episode of Hoarders waiting to happen.
But no so, anymore. I officially declare my garage. . . completely clean. Last week, that is. And the heavens opened, and angels rejoiced. Last week.
From now on, I'm leaving this little garbage can right next to my work bench. No more chucking down scraps on the floor for me. Maybe. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.
Oh! And by the way! Did I tell you the hubs was so kind as to get on out there and build some shelves for us?
Aw. . . Jeffro. You're my favorite husband. "You are my biggest fan. . ." Name that movie.
Anywho! Enough about the stinking gay-rage! (And it really does stink, people-- hubs put wet grass clippings in the garbage in there-- whoo. Do not go in there. It smelled like somebody died. Farting.)
Let's move onto this "DIY" class. I wanna talk about that. Told the great gal who asked me,
"Heh heh. Heh. I could teach a really, REALLY good class on what not to do."
I really could.
I see my house, as one big fail. Some are better fails, but, fails, nonetheless.
No! I'm not sugar coating it. Just the honest truth. Told her the only thing I've got going for me, is I am persistant. NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER! And so forth. ("Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!" I'm sorry. I'm in a movie quote mood.)
So, without further ado, and without any more randomly placed but very good movie quotes, I'd like to give you my small list of:
WHAT NOT TO DO: THE DIY-ER GUIDE.
Tip!: Whilst working, don't just leave your hands anywhere.
I'll quickly add that this does not display my worst hand injuries. And now let us move on.
Tip!: Working with a nailgun? Good for you. Working with a nailgun near a pocket door?
Don't use brad nails that are quite longer than the drywall. Unless you don't like closing your bathroom doors while you go.
It's a personal preference, though.
Tip!: Kay-- a lemonade stand might seem like the coolest idea in the world-- and it is 'n all--
but it's the storage of the beast that's the problem. The hubs walks past it, raises his head to the heavens and mutters "Why? WHY?" pretty frequently. ("Can't we like, hang it from the rafters er something?")
Tip!: Okay. How do I put this? If you enjoy hitting your funny bone on everything, this one doesn't apply. If you enjoy having your gums scraped, this one isn't for you. If you love tweezing your nose hairs, this one's not gonna count for you.
Do not. DO NOT -- for the love of all that is holy, don't makeover your bedroom, finish your basement, put in a garden, and make a window bed for your son, allatthesametime. It's similar to taking a hefty amount of ex-lax, waiting 20 minutes, and then going to the grocery store for some serious shopping. Smart people just don't do that.
You know what- this is getting depressing. Let's just stick with these tips for now.