Saturday, April 17, 2010

That's it.

We've had enough of the door to door salesman. Thee ole kiss our butts, keep us at the door for 20 minutes, tell us a sob story, and then ask us if we'd like to buy some magazines.

Nope, I really wouldn't, thankyouverymuch.

I hate to do it, 'cause for some reason, "No Soliciting" to me just screams "we are ornery people".

But I'm gonna do it anyway. I'm gonna make me a sign to go directly underneath the doorbell.

I'm like a dog. I take scraps from my Dad. Again.

Some stencils, again, the sander, again, met the President, ag-ayan,

Why did I make 4? I don't. . . really . . .know. Mo, one's for you, sista. She's sick to death of the salesman, too.

Ya know? The thought occurred to me:
you could use another chalkboard tag. Think of all those possibilities. . .

I mean, heck, I could change it to fit my mood du jour.

Other possible titles:

-I don't want any.
-I'll buy yours if you buy mine.
-We're broke.
-We have guns. And an itchy trigger finger.
-You might hear us in here, but we're pretending not to hear you.
-You earn your own money for your Europe trip, and I'll keep my money for mine.
-I only answer in za nude. Also, I weigh 400 pounds.

But you know, that would take a really long chalkboard tag.


gina@3ringcottage said...

I have a no soliciting sign on our porch. It's not that cute but I have one. When we bought our new house (new construction) we were overwhelmed with solicitors so I just had to put one up. The only time we don't enforce it is if a kid (under 12) comes by (like girl scouts or fundraisers for the elementary school). Let us know if yours works!

supermom said...

Ever get sucked in to the Kirby people. they come a long and tell you, "we'll clean one room for you" they get here, tell you how much "your" vacuum is a piece and take up all your time, then, don't clean your carpet. Last time I'll ever do that again. Hard Painful lesson learned. And, they wanted to go in my bedroom and vacuum my mattress, "UH, don't think so"! I had sucker written all over my forehead, well, not no more! :O)

Tracy's Trinkets and Treasures said...

That made me laugh. I might have to make a sign!

1 Funky Woman said...

You seriously need to put the last one on a board, I dare you! No, really just do it for one day and see who comes to the door. If you do it, I will!

I'm dying of laughter over here and laughed so hard I peed!

Emily said...

I love all of those sayings. They are funny, it would be interesting to see if people still rang the door bell. We may have to try an experiment.

Yes, you can borrow any book I have, (maybe not my twilight ones...bad experience with that remind me and I will tell you sometime..) let me know and I will bring it to you.

Layne Bushell said...

Have you noticed my sign? It's in vinyl lettering and I put it on crooked...hmmm maybe a new one is in order? I did it just for the creepy magazine and the stupid Wonder Cleaner people.(after turning her down TWICE in one evening, the wonder cleaner sales chicka came back to my house in the middle of the night and wrote F U *@!ch on my front door in black sharpie marker. So yes, call me cranky and GO AWAY!

Jenna said...

THAT is awesome. :)

Layne Bushell said...

Yes she did...we went straight to the top of hte company and they refused to pay to refinish my door...they just wanted to send someone out to cover the paint where she wrote. But we wanted the whole door to be refinished so the paint was even...they wouldn't. So maddeing. That company is crap and if you talk to them, then we can't be friends! Thank goodness you won't get the chance cause you'll have a no soliciting sign!

kim said...

lol, that's a pretty good idea...I'm so glad people really don't stop by out here in the sticks :)

Dara said...

I had the Yo Big MAMA comment yesterday.... LOVELY, and when we said no, it was followed by a comment about our house and $$ and then some foul language.

I would KILL for a no soliciting sign that actually worked.

Dara said...

I had the Yo Big MAMA comment yesterday.... LOVELY, and when we said no, it was followed by a comment about our house and $$ and then some foul language.

I would KILL for a no soliciting sign that actually worked.

Dara said...

Mandi, it was the same guy in a Stealers shirt I saw coming out of your house that prompted me to call Tiffany (Dave who was home) and have them bring Cydnee inside until they guys was gone....
I also and another "run in" at the gas station near the fire station with the people selling over there, must have been taking a break from that neck of the woods. She made comments about my car, I asked her to keep moving...she did.
Needless to say I had to have a chat with Madison about strangers....Yes, I need a sign...not a "here's your sign" sign, but a sign to keep them away.....I will come grab one of your cute ones and hang it above my door bell. Thanks in advance! LOL

Janelle Bartlome said...

Classic Mandi... Love 'em.

Keep those ideas coming!

Creative Decor by Brooke said...

You seriously crack me up. I want one of those "No Soliciting" signs. Or maybe I want the one that says "We're Broke". Love that.
I just wish they would take no for an answer, the first time you say it. Anyway, I would love to see how it looks at your front door.
Hope it works.

WhettenWild said...

THANK YOU!!! Can I have one of each saying. ha ha. Maybe if I have all of them it will work.

They turned out great! Thanks again.

chris w said...

SO good. Those magazine people are cuhRAZY! We had one yell at us and she was totally drunk. Yeah, that's gonna make me buy your stuff.

Layne Bushell said...

Or how about the magazine guy that was playing with himself in front of me...hands down his pants and all....that's what put me over the edge...(yes, it was after the sharpie marker incident.) Ser-I-ously...where do these people come from?

dena4kids said...

LOL! I love the live wires sign.=)
You just have to move out to the country like me.NOoooobody comes out here.(knock on wood!)

Amanda said...

I need one of those. I got attacked by a saleslady in my driveway, Saturday. I was afraid because I recognized her from when she came around the neighborhood last year and the year before. I was scared this time because last year, when I told her I didn't want her magic potion, she yelled at me and told me I was racist. Apparently, I didn't want her magic cleaning potion because she was black. Mostly I just hate door-to-door salespeople... no matter hat color they are!

Dede said...

I'm totally making a "I'll buy yours if you buy mine" sign! Where did you get all those hilarious ideas??