Wednesday, February 10, 2010

This Crazy Mom's Guide to Caregiver Sanity.

I tole ya I need to shake things up. That I was having a mini-meltdown. You know, no more crazy "haha" but I mean, crazy crazy insane. So I said to myself, "self, you need an intervention." And I did. I really did. Now I'm here to share 'em.

1. I started swearing again.

And I felt.so.much.better. Who knew?

I'm kidding mom! Don't have a heart attack, there. On the contrary, I believe I've largely kicked my truck driver's mouth habit (oh crap please don't jinx myself).

Well. . . . except for that one time when I gave the garage wall a love tap with our van. But that does not count, people. Oh crap I hope Jeff doesn't read this post. . .

Okay so, really.

1. Be advised that bathtime is hellacious (that doesn't count either!) chaos.

It might be fun for those wise guys but it ain't fun for me. Fights, splashes, peeing in the tub-- you name it. I choose highly strategic bathing hours, now.

2. Be advised that the smartest thing I ever did was put a lock on the pantry door.

And it's real high.

3. And the smartest thing I ever did was put a lock on the door to the garage.
(real high)
4. And a lock on the door to outside.
(yep. real high)
5. And a lock on the door to the basement.

(not gonna say it again)
6. Be aware that 5:00 pm and on turns kids into freakish, crazy, running, screaming monsters.
Extra patience, control, and good threats at this hour are needed.

(mean brothers)

7. There are now afternoon hot chocolate moments. Just me, a hot mug, and maybe a little sprinkle of caramel flavoring for kicks and giggles.


8. There is now, always, Exercise.

Exercise the Demons! (thick southern accent)

Exercising every morning is really kicking the morning off right. And boy, does it.

Oh wait- that's not me. Well, I do wear that every morning so close enough.
9. Be aware that while exercising, expect the downstairs to appear as so:

If it looks better than that, we-he-hell, score one for you.

10. Be advised that cooking with children is a hair-pulling, turn-your-back-and-scream-with-your-mouth-closed, experience.




11. And finally, a little bribing to get things done around here never hurt anyone.

Thankyouverymuch.

(psst still a very very small window of time for an awesome wall art chalkboard here)

8 comments:

La TempĂȘte said...

OH honey. YES. I feel you. I call that charming interlude at the end of the day 'the witching hour'.

Trina said...

Those are very helpful (and so funny) tips, but I still don't think I could pull off 4 small children AND home improvements without adult backup. You are AMAZING!

My Favorite Things said...

love reading your posts, very funny stuff. Your kids are adorable. I have two boys, well three with my husband, I know exactly what you mean about the 5 o'clock hour.

Anny said...

I have so much respect for you and how you manage this brood of boys! It looks like an insane, chaotic life filled with family love :)

Anny said...

I have so much respect for you and how you manage this brood of boys! It looks like an insane, chaotic life filled with family love :)

Amanda said...

I can so relate. I have 4 boys, myself. I wholeheartedly (sp? Is that even a word?) agree with you about the 5:00pm comment. I don't know what happens when that hour rolls around-- they either all turn psycho, or I've officially run out of patience.

WhettenWild said...

Dude, I can't believe you made it that long without the locks. That was our first addition in our last two houses. Seriously.

dena4kids said...

LOL! I LOVE LOVE my locks! Eventhough my kids can open them now, it still gives me piece of mind. Oh and also the AWESOME beeping noise that the alarm makes everytime Noah, I mean anyone, opens the door.=)