"So what did it Jack? Huh? The boredom? The loneliness? The repetition? The days, one running into the next. . .?"
No. I'm not wearing the same flannel shirt day after day. Nor have I reheated a grilled cheese sandwich with an iron, or dried the socks in our microwave-- nor am I addicted to The Young & The Restless. I haven't yelled "Irv, we were never in aisle 7! I'm tellin' ya, honest!"
But I've had a difficult time this past month. I'm not one to pretend everything's perfect over here. Like I've already said this week, I'm all about keeping it real.
But it's been "Groundhog Day" over here. One day, bleeding into the next. Too many loads of laundry, little bum wipes, little shoes to put on, beds to make, fights to stop, hairs to comb. . . all.by.myself. All.the.time.
What does this have to do with my children? Everything. Nothing.
Really, it's not about my children. I love 'em. Glad I have 'em. Grateful for 'em. This is about housewifery. This is about my husband's work hours that have far exceeded my worst case scenario since we've moved back home. This is saying a lot, since I'm used to 12+ hour work days, even on weekends. I'm used to being all by myself.
How do single, stay-at-home mom's do it? I don't know. I was doing so well at first, and then things began to crumble.
I blame this on very little sleep. I blame this on 3 out 4 of my homies ending up in bed with me lately due to "bad dweams" (kicks to the head, the stomach, pushing me off my own bed, etc). I blame this on weekends that feel like regular weekdays. I blame this on 6 months straight of feeling like a widowed mother of 4 children under the age of 6. I blame this on the chaos of just running to the store for a gallon of frigging milk.
Am I a whiner? Yep. Yessirree, Bob.
But I'm still making a few changes.
I'm watching more T.V.
Yeah, you heard me. I'm going to sit on my fat butt and watch more T.V. shows. Up until a couple days ago I never watched T.V. Ever. It makes me feel more isolated. So I'm going to watch a show or two.
I'm shaking up the evenings. It's the evenings that get me down.
I'm getting a babysitter for 2 hours on Saturdays. So I can go get that frigging gallon of milk by myself, and maybe go tanning and to the Hob Lob. All by myself (you ever taken your kids to Hob Lob? It's dangerous).
Ain't it funny how you read or hear something just when you really need it? This was mine.
And I quote: "Life presses all kinds of burdens on each of us, some light but others relentless and heavy. . ."
"bearing up under our own burdens can help us develop a reservoir of empathy for the problems others face. . ."
"yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord."
I suddenly felt a ton better.