Thursday, January 6, 2011

I Like Big Butts And I Cannot Lie.


would be my piano bench. It was very loved by the last home's dog, apparently. The hinges are broken, and the length of it?

Well, it's fine for one person. But I'm a piano duet kind a gal. And this bench only accomodates a "one cheek on/one cheek off" scenario, if yaknowwhatImean.
Consequently, I was on the lookout to make my own bench. For about a year, actually.

Then I happened to be strolling through Lowes like I do on an, oh, weekly basis, and crossed paths with these lovelies.

I love them. Do you love them? I love them. Project!

Now, like I said before, this needs to be a looong bench. This needs big butt potential. And I need it strong. Nothing like a loud crunch when ya sit down as a good boost to the ole self-esteem, know what I mean?

First cut with the table saw got me a good length of plywood.

Used some left over 1x4 from this little task:

as a box to go underneath my plywood. Why? Oh, for looks. And super duper pooper scooper strength.

Umkay. So, check this out-- this is so cool:

Plain ole 1x4s, and then. . .

1x4s run through the router. Me likey. Is that not awesome? Beautiful, dirt cheap trim. Saves a bundle. I'd use it on every freakin' piece of wood I had if that machine wasn't so spooky and pants-wetting.

So, after cutting this trim on 45's, using massive amounts of wood glue and then adding nails from the nail gun into the corners for extra strength,
(remember: big butts. Super dooper pooper scooper strength,)

here we have our box.

The Daddy-o says if wood glue ain't oozing out of the edges, you haven't used enough.

More massive amounts of wood glue to add the box to my top plywood piece,
and my totally hot french legs,

(and I won't mention the not-so-brief intermission of one broken screw, not one but two drill bits stuck in the wood, one drill bit broken off, and an odd laugh/cry coming out of my own mouth, all because of that d$*& drill. . .)

Ahem. I got some really good lessons on proper drill use, countersinking, pilot holes, and so forth. Things went a lot smoother.

So. . . finally I secured each leg and the box with 2 inch screws (in every direction).

And another couple coats of the good ole spray paint. The foam pieces were for the not quite dry paint- don't you judge me!

some foam on top for extra tushy comfort,
and, finally, burlap.

But wait. . . is burlap, so, like, 6 months ago?
Since it was dirt cheap, I don't think I'll worry about its potential replacement.
Gave that burlap a good tuck under, and a staple with the ole staple gun.

It's almost as cool as my nail gun. 'Cept it's not, because it misfires 2 in 3 times. But it still did the job, big piece a crap.

Et voila.

Here we are.

I think I could fit every single kid on this long of a bench.

I don't know why that would be anything but annoying,

But I'm just sayin it's possible.

Linked to the Shabby Nest Frugal Friday.

and. . .

Finding Fabulous Frugalicious Friday.


Mandi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heidi@TheCraftMonkey said...

You go girl! You are rocking that new saw! That bench is fantastic, and the legs! Oooh La La! Loves it!

Emily said...

The bench looks awesome in your music room! And I like the burlap. I looks cool!

Jen said...

I SERIOUSLY need one of those!! My piano bench collapsed when my overly entusiastic stepson was playing the piano very energetically. It was really quite hilarious and couldn't help but laugh. I even made him hold his position so I could take a picture!!! Needless to say, we've been benchless since 07. =( I have all the pieces to the bench, I just don't know how to fix it.

Andrea@Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

I have no idea what countersinking and pilot holes are, but the bench... It's lovely. You can definitely fit a lot of cheeks on that gorgeous bench.

The three final photos are my favorite. Just beautiful!

Libby said...

You are amazing...and fortunate to have all those nifty tools to do it with.

gina3 said...

Your apple didn't fall far from your Daddy-o's tree. You've got skills! Please don't tell me burlap is 6 months ago. I still like it too much and don't want to recover stuff just yet.

FastForwardingThroughLife said...

I think this piece is calling for some ole freezer paper stenciling on the de lovely burlap...something "Tremayne-ish". Looks good. Can I take classes from the Master?

Mandi @ Vintage Revivals said...

Holy Moly! I cant believe how awesome that tured out! You are a powertoolista. Cant wait to hang!!

love your guts

Teri said...

I *also* like big butts. You other brothers can't deny.

Wicked project!

Kimbo West @ a girl and a glue gun said...

um...maybe you should share the wealth of knowlege you are getting about the power tools....just in case other girlies need to make things that can support a large Derriere --or other body parts...arms...elbows...cankles (i own a pair of those. can't zip a boot over them!)

Layne Bushell said...

So that's what you were painting the other day! Turned out fabulous!

slommler said...

Loving the bench and the process!! And power tools rock but they can also bust your chops! Ha!

Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points said...


Two of my kids will force themselves onto our (traditional two-cheeks only) piano bench and goof around until one of them falls off.

Which is basically highly entertaining so I probably won't actually do anything about it.

But I respect your methods.

WhettenWild said...

Love it! It turned out fab! So when are we making one for me?? j/k

Stacy said...

Every time someone says "Oh my gosh" I have the strongest desire to finish with "Becky, look at her butt!" So I had to laugh at your title :) Great job! And I love burlap.

Spencer & Lorilyn Crum said...



Lei said...

You know with a title like that I had to click over... lol. Also linked up to Crafting with the Stars. I think my piano bench needs a super duper pooper scooper makeover, too. ;)

Anonymous said...

WHOA, back the truck up! What is a router? Does that thing make.....molding? trim? OMG! Do tell more...but seriously, I love the piano bench! I think the burlap fits perfectly with your sort of French-y vibe you've got goin' on!

Ladybird Ln said...

Looks great! I saw this a while back and now am redoing my piano bench, and wanted to find this again, yours is so great!

P.S. would not recommend googling for Piano Bench for Big Butts... ewe.