I Am That Mom
Who paints her boys toenails,
gives her kids wedgies when she's mad,
dresses her son in tutu's,
plays massive amounts of Uno and Paper Rock Scissors,
cooks hundreds of pancakes a month, tells her kids to go back to bed if it's before 7:00 a.m.,
and considers moments like these to be perfect photo ops.
But I love the crap out of my homies.
And I probably just made you feel like mother of the year.
And to my mom,
who didn't get mad when I wasted $100 worth of water in an attempt to fill our pond that had cracked from an earthquake, or when I threw a rock through the window to kill a spider, or when I spewed all over the freshly mopped floor, or who always made me put my pants back on when I tried to head out the door in my "shirt dress", and never, ever, gave me a wedgie, I say,
Happy Mother's Day.
p.s. I stole that awesome recipe book you've had for 30 years.