Sunday, March 20, 2016

The Wall of Shame.

Bonjourno! How the heck are ya?  

We're doing great-- we're digging up the lawn to hide dead bodies er I mean to add some more hopefully attractive landscaping features these days.  Putting our backs into it. Throwing caution to the wind as far as keeping the pants appropriately pulled up. I mean, we're swinging pick axes out there-- we can't be concerned about propriety, people. C'mon. 

Okay. Before we get into a fun lil project I finished up this week, I have to pat myself on the back for a moment:


I cannot tell you how many times I've attempted and big-fat-failed in the breads department. I was seriously skipping around the kitchen, grinning ear to ear that these even rose, let alone baked decently and tasted good.

It's the little things. Never mind that the neighbor boy asked for a slice and promptly told me he didn't like it. I said NEVER MIND! 


So, once upon a time, I had a wall that looked like so.  Remember? Maybe ya do, maybe you don't- 

And frankly I'm hoping you don't. It wasn't the clothes pin idea that I'm now embarrassed about-- that was fine. It was the vinyl saying above it that hopefully you can't quite make out. The picture was strategic! All you need to know is that I thought it was hilarious at the time and then came to my senses.

Sigh. I've grown up a little.

So, a lot of the clothes pins had broken over years of use, and it was just lookin' a tad . . . poverty stricken. Shabby. I took it down nearly a year ago and this strange wall that heads downstairs to the man cave stood there empty. I didn't hang any of my kids artwork or good grades-- they all went straight to the trash. I was totally fine with it but for some reason the dang kids didn't like that. Picky, picky.

I knew I wanted something a bit more. . .mouldy. Hmm. That sounds green, furry and nasty; surely there's a better word for more moulding. 

I knew I wanted the back of this to be V groove. (oh boy here she goes again talking up that stupid v groove).

I love this stuff!

It's basically larger slatted beadboard. I find it to be so classy, with a slight nod to a farmhouse style. It's very underused. AND speaking of that!

I've got a bone to pick with Lowe's. They don't carry this V groove paneling anymore. In fact, there's a half dozen things they don't carry anymore that I need, from moulding to hot tub products to closet organization. One time, I went there with a list of 4 items and they don't carry ANY ONE OF THEM ANYMORE. I NEED TO STOP YELLING. 

It was a very frustrating visit to my local Lowes. You've really let me down, Lowe's. You don't care, but I do. 

Go Home Depot! The end.

Anyways! Because I have the world's largest scrap pile, I happened to have a piece left lying around in the garage. Good thing I'm not picky about stuff, 'cause I may have been unhappy with the size otherwise.

I don't typically turn this stuff horizontally, so I's feeling pretty bold and frisky at this point.

So I snapped this picture, and then immediately noticed how absolutely disgusting my wall was. Don't you judge me! You try 20 different kids in a 48 hour period running their little fingers down your wall to the basement. See how your Wendy's Frosty wall color fares okay?

So I scrubbed the wall furiously,

and then went to 2 different Lowe's locations for some MDF. And they didn't have any. Annnnnd they told me the whole country wasn't receiving shipments of MDF right now and everyone was out. 'S what they told me for reals. 

So I went to the Depot a block away and picked up some MDF. That wasn't available. Anywhere. No way. No how. Except Home Depot has some, no problem. 

Holy crap Lowes you have let me down. I feel like a best friend has stabbed me in the back. Top of my crap list for you!

Ack I'm liking it so much more and I haven't even painted it yet.

Little paint, more wall washing (WHY? Seriously boys), simple string run across and some cute, petite lil clothes pins,

and boom, the kids spared no time to start hanging their crap up on the Wall of Shame. Done, and done.

Suck it, Lowe's. 


Janelle said...

Love it. want it. In fact, I should just move into your house because I like it so much. Can we trade houses?

Suesan Kennard said...

The Orem Lowe's is so bad! It's an old hardware store they converted and it's layout is all wonky and none of the employees even know where their crap is. It was an exercise in how to piss off Suesan every single time I went in there. So, I stopped going. But Home Depot is in South Provo and who wants to schlepp way down there? Forget about it! My new town accommodated my box store hardware store needs by putting Lowes and HD across the street from each other! Woo Hoo! I'm looking forward to that.

ps. The wall of shame is beautiful. You done good.

pps. Maybe we could sneak in a play date before I move again?

dscheaney said...

Looks great! Very clever solution (though now I want to read the previous wall-quote)
I spend half my life trying to remember which store still carries which products.
Hope Depot has MDF but won't cut it.
Lowes has a smaller selection but will cut it.
Home depot carries 4x4 and will cut them......if you can find anyone.
Lowes carries 4x4s but doesn't have a saw to cut them.
and on and on and on.....
Good luck with the bodies!

Trace L Hentz said...

I grabbed your button because frankly you deserve to be famous! []

Monica P said...

I've been following you for a while because, I don't know, you have an amazing home and I think you're hilarious, and somehow I just saw the goofy things that your kids have said. Holy moly. I love it! And they obviously come by it honestly.

Thanks for sharing all of the awesome things going on in your life and your home!

Monica P.| Where The Graywind Blows