Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Well I'm Not A Plumber.

So I called the Daddy-o, and I was all,
 
"Hey Daddy-o, um, remember how I said I was going to be all independent this year?"
 
Daddy-o: "Um, yeah.  You're an 'adult', right?"
 
"Right.  So on that note. . . I decided to replace my kitchen faucet, and the Lowe's guy on youtube says it's, and I quote, 'one of the easiest upgrades you can make to a house', and I'm ABOUT READY TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT."
 
Note to self: the hot water doesn't really fully turn off, we own waaaay too many cleaners, and there's a spilled bottle of blue dishwasher crap down there.
 
 
You know, switching out a faucet could be easy.  Would be easy.  Should be easy.  Except you're trying to do it all in this disgusting, dank, cramped space and you're dropping crescent wrenches on your head.
 
 
And these weird little things sticking out from the bottom of the sink under there?  Their sole purpose is to gouge you in the head. 
 
I was like a contortionist under there trying to get to everything.  I was on my haunches, I was on my side, I was on my back, and I just kept thinking about this quote from Clue over and over:
 
"Oh my.  Nobody can get into that position."
 
(Sure they can.  I'll show you.)
 
Or from Tangled:
 
"You should know, that this is the strangest thing I have ever done!"
 
I swear, the video showed this quick changeroo of faucets like it was this 10 minute project, and I swear, I started at 9 am and was doing final tightenings at 5pm. Keeping in mind that I did take many swear/throw tools/go to Lowe's for new hoses/utter frustration breaks. Right now I cannot think of a project more frustrating then this one.  I really can't.
 
Ew.
 
 
It's like an alien.  It's like those metal squidees on The Matrix. 
 
Once, Jeffro replaced both our master bath faucets, and it took him the entire day.  And I remember thinking,
"Sheesh, man.  What is taking so long?"
 
Words. Eaten.
 
 
I went white again.  I have white appliances and a white sink.  It makes sense.  It gives me a feeling of control in a world full of chaos.  Plus they're half the price of metal ones, and that seals the deal.
 
Just so we're clear, I hope to never, ever ever ever do a plumbing project again.  Because they suck.
 
 
Dang it man, I had to clean my sink and my window for this picture. Not that you can tell. But the things I do for this blog.

9 comments:

Suesan Kennard said...

Getting under the sink is definitely a job for a contortionist. I had days where the plumbing nearly defeated me but I guess I'm too stubborn to let a bunch of pipes win. I now know why plumbers make bank.

Dorris Huth said...

I feel you. Plumbing is not rewarding. I hate it. Just re-plumbed a sink in my powder room this weekend and after all was said and done I've got about a million drywall holes to patch. Plumbing.is.terrible.

Cathie said...

It's the devil! My husband refuses to do anything plumbing related because the one time he tried to replace a faucet, something broke and flooded the room below it.

Evon Brow said...

That was quite an ordeal you went through there. At least you have achieved what you had set out to do, and got the new faucet in there. Plumbing isn't really a walk in the park, though it would be a great skill to learn along the way. All the best!

Evon Brow @ Athens Plumbing & Well Service

slw71881 said...

Wow, to get to the end of that and then you cleaned windows for the photos!! The faucet is lovely, of course, but credit where it's due. :-)

slw71881 said...

Wow, to get to the end of that and then you cleaned windows for the photos!! The faucet is lovely, of course, but credit where it's due. :-)

slw71881 said...

Oh, I had a snafu with the "prove you're not a robot" and somehow it double-posted. My apologies?

Lovella Cushman said...

Some DIYs look easy on YouTube, but feel like rocket science once you try it yourself. Well, plumbing, electrical, and any project that’s related to your house’s system are usually more complicated than they seem. It's good that your Dad was able to save the day! Maybe you should call him next time if you're planning another plumbing upgrade. Haha! Have a good one!

Lovella Cushman @ Perfection Plumbing

Martha Ward said...

That experience sounds frustrating. Plumbing is not easy, but I’m glad you found your way through it. Anyway, I think choosing white as the color of your faucet was a great idea. It made your sink look clean and neat, which made the entire kitchen do so as well. Thanks for sharing that, Mandi! Kudos and all the best to you!

Martha Ward @ Son-Rise Plumbing