Monday, June 9, 2014

It's That Time Again. Time To Cook With Betty.

Once a year-ish,
I like to whip out this 60's Betty Crocker and get cookin'.  There are great, classic, go-to recipes in here.  And then. . . there are some "other" recipes.  The red-headed stepchild of the family, if you will. 
Those are the ones I love. The crazier recipe, the better.  I find it to be so choice.
If we haven't been friends for long, you've been missing out on such culinary creations as--
Petals 'N Pickles.  These were un.real.
I like to call this one,
"Worms Writhing In Sand".  I dare you to tell me the 60's photo in Betty's book doesn't look like that.  I dare ya.
(Actually, it's a meringue cake that smelled fantastic and was actually pretty good.  I confess I was disappointed.)
And the last wonderful "smart" and "neat" dish I chose was the "Tangy Tomato Aspic" (dun dun dun.)
Wait.  First, let's talk about aspics ("an 'As-what'??").
Someone back in the 50's got this crazy idea that everything should be gelatinized.  These things are so amazing. 
Take your entire meal, throw it into to Jell-o,
mold it,
and voila.  It's a jiggly masterpiece.  My family really likes tuna pasta.  Can you imagine that as an aspic?  Wow.  That could really be something else.
This was the face of American cooking, people.  We put our trust in Betty.  And. . . we got aspics.  ("An 'as-what'?")
Okay so um, first off--
why are we only cooking with Betty once a year?  It's so delightful.  I believe this should be a bi-annual, nay, a quarterly task.  Don't you?   Of course you do.  What could be more fun then wasting perfectly good ingredients?
But back to the aspic.  ("An 'as-what'?")
(Yeah.  You read that right.  Hot dog-macaroni aspic.)
My Tangy Tomato Aspic didn't turn out, because I don't just have aspic molds lying around like the rest of the world.  I'm not fancy enough for that. 
And if I can't master the art of an aspic, how can I go on?  
Let's do this again.  We must. 
Check out the Tangy Tomato Aspic's cookbook buddy next door:
"Perfection Salad".  Yes. This is happening.
Wait wait wait.  Can we get a close up of those little Perfection Salad mini-aspics?

'Mmm mmm mmm.  We're all licking our chops about now.

Lemon jell-o, cabbage, pimientos, salt, lemon juice OR vinegar (because they're so close in taste??  What the. . . )?
My spidey senses are tingling with warning.  But how can we go wrong?  I mean, it is a "Perfection Salad".
Just look at these all ready.  You know, this one time, I saw this cat cough up a hairball, and some other stuff came up to, and it. . . never mind.
Actually it kinda reminds me of what freezing egg drop soup in a mini bundt pan might look like.
Here's the real trick-- the test-- this is where I become a real man--  or woman--
getting them out of there clean and still properly shaped.

I DID IT!!!   YES.  I am totally bringing these to the next church potluck.

You know what these taste like?

Exactly like you'd expect lemon jell-o with salt, cabbage, pimentos, and pickles to taste like.  Shudder.  And I really do have a strong stomach.
I think I just. . . yeah.  I had an idea.  I'm leaving these out as a warning to my kids.  Think my real cooking is bad, kids?  Wanna complain about dinner again, kids?  Well allllllll food is off limits until you apologize.  Eat crow.  Or, one of these perfection salads.
"Yeah.  You heard me, kids.  Every.last.bite."



Anonymous said...

Brilliant, a mixed up marvel! My favourite; Fried Bread spread with marmalade, fantastic!

Jasi said...

you are absolutely my kind of crazy. i love making recipes i have no business messing with.

Cathie said...

One time on my mission in Idaho, we had dinner with an old lady. There was what I thought was just green Jello with whipped cream on top, but turned out to be lime Jello full of vegetables--including green onion--topped with sour cream. I still shudder at the thought.

Lindsay said...

Yum! Why does Betty have an entire section of "molded salads?" So wrong! Yet brilliant.

Rach said...

Ha ha! Love it...

WhettenWild said...

You are brave! That grosses me out so bad!

cfarr said...

My grandma used to make tomato aspic all the time...I think it had the little tiny shrimp in it....Yum;(

Rebecca D said...

My grandmother made aspics all the time... It makes my stomach shudder to think of the crazy combos she would come up with... "Meat Jello" is what us kids called it and there was no getting out of eating every bite. Ah the joys of a grandma who survived the depression! The only thing good I can say about aspics is that at least the gelatin helps the nasty stuff to slide down with minimal chewing and tongue contact!

Jackie said...

Ha! I love it! Your culinary skills are amazing. I do have to say that this one at least looked more pleasing to the eye than the previous dish you made.

Libby said...

Haha today I cooked with "Betty" but did not use gelatin...I've been baking her chocolate chip cookies and they just don't go with aspec...but then IMO neither do hot dogs!

Lou - Max and Louise Pattern Co said...

OH MY GOD!!! I NEED a Betty Crocker cookbook...not to cook, I'm just not that adventurous that I would try as-what??? really, you had me in stitches and I think a monthly instalment of Betty would be wonderful.
If you lived near us, I think you would be besties with my one of my fiends; I could just see you two having a Betty Cooking Day!!!

Thanks for the laughs....

Mel@Mellywood's Mansion said...

Dry retching just looking at the ingredients list, was Betty pregnant in the 60's and was just trying to push her weird cravings onto the general public. Can't believe you actually tasted it. Too funny!

Nopinkertons said...

Maybe back then they had *unsweetened* lemon Jell-o?

Carla said...

You are amazing. And that's just disgusting...

Anonymous said...

WHY would anybody make aspics with flavoured jell-o?? It's bad enough when it's unflavoured but lemon? Yuck!