Once a year-ish,
I like to whip out this 60's Betty Crocker and get cookin'. There are great, classic, go-to recipes in here. And then. . . there are some "other" recipes. The red-headed stepchild of the family, if you will.
Those are the ones I love. The crazier recipe, the better. I find it to be so choice.
If we haven't been friends for long, you've been missing out on such culinary creations as--
Petals 'N Pickles. These were un.real.
I like to call this one,
"Worms Writhing In Sand". I dare you to tell me the 60's photo in Betty's book doesn't look like that. I dare ya.
(Actually, it's a meringue cake that smelled fantastic and was actually pretty good. I confess I was disappointed.)
And the last wonderful "smart" and "neat" dish I chose was the "Tangy Tomato Aspic" (dun dun dun.)
Wait. First, let's talk about aspics ("an 'As-what'??").
Someone back in the 50's got this crazy idea that everything should be gelatinized. These things are so amazing.
Take your entire meal, throw it into to Jell-o,
and voila. It's a jiggly masterpiece. My family really likes tuna pasta. Can you imagine that as an aspic? Wow. That could really be something else.
This was the face of American cooking, people. We put our trust in Betty. And. . . we got aspics. ("An 'as-what'?")
Okay so um, first off--
why are we only cooking with Betty once a year? It's so delightful. I believe this should be a bi-annual, nay, a quarterly task. Don't you? Of course you do. What could be more fun then wasting perfectly good ingredients?
But back to the aspic. ("An 'as-what'?")
(Yeah. You read that right. Hot dog-macaroni aspic.)
My Tangy Tomato Aspic didn't turn out, because I don't just have aspic molds lying around like the rest of the world. I'm not fancy enough for that.
And if I can't master the art of an aspic, how can I go on?
Let's do this again. We must.
Check out the Tangy Tomato Aspic's cookbook buddy next door:
"Perfection Salad". Yes. This is happening.
Wait wait wait. Can we get a close up of those little Perfection Salad mini-aspics?
'Mmm mmm mmm. We're all licking our chops about now.
Lemon jell-o, cabbage, pimientos, salt, lemon juice OR vinegar (because they're so close in taste?? What the. . . )?
My spidey senses are tingling with warning. But how can we go wrong? I mean, it is a "Perfection Salad".
Just look at these all ready. You know, this one time, I saw this cat cough up a hairball, and some other stuff came up to, and it. . . never mind.
Actually it kinda reminds me of what freezing egg drop soup in a mini bundt pan might look like.
Here's the real trick-- the test-- this is where I become a real man-- or woman--
getting them out of there clean and still properly shaped.
Exactly like you'd expect lemon jell-o with salt, cabbage, pimentos, and pickles to taste like. Shudder. And I really do have a strong stomach.
I think I just. . . yeah. I had an idea. I'm leaving these out as a warning to my kids. Think my real cooking is bad, kids? Wanna complain about dinner again, kids? Well allllllll food is off limits until you apologize. Eat crow. Or, one of these perfection salads.
"Yeah. You heard me, kids. Every.last.bite."