Thursday, May 22, 2014

Ring My Doorbell. If No One Answers, Pick Weeds.

Dudes,
 
I'm spending my life outside.  If you need to find me, I'll be in the yard.
 
Project "Un-White-Trash Our Yard" hath commenced.  The neighbors are shouting hallelujah.  Or, at least they will, once it looks a little less trashy.  These things take time, okay?  Gosh.  I'm only one person, okay?  Gosh.  I can do either the inside of the house or the outside, okay?  Gosh.  Not both.  Ain't nobody got time for that.
 
So remember what I said before?  SNOWBALLED.  It began with the backyard and the pergola and the trex, and now it's ending up with spending inordinate amounts of cashola on professional lawn care and new shrubs and shiz.  You know why?  I'll tell you why.  Because I'm tired of heading out and saying,
 
(I should make this.)
 
"If you need me, I'll be out mowing the weeds."
That's why.
 
So it's all totally out of control.
 
I'm so sick of being that family.  With all the dandelions. 
 
And on a sidenote, can one big dog (that isn't mine) really truly kill that much grass by peeing on it over and over?  Seriously?
 
 But never mind that now-- let's talk about alllll a that later.  What we're talking about today is so exciting you'll nearly wet yourself.
 
Remember waaaay back when I said at the beginning of the year that I had a bajillion new year's resolutions but I was going to break you into them slowly so as to lessen the craziness that is moi?
 
Of course you don't remember that because the entire situation is ridiculous.  Well, I feel like talking about one of this year's main resolutions right. . .. now.
 
Keeping in mind this year's main resolution is:
 
 
Chill. 
 
Ask me how it's going. 
(Oh.  It's going.  Down the toilet. 
Working on it.)
 
Anyhow-- other resolution that is going well:
 
The Year Of The Independent Woman.
 
Let me 'splain.  No, there is too much.  Let me sum up:
 
the hubs-- he works, like, a lot.  I often joke I'm the last adult alive because that's how I feel sometimes.  And I realized?
 
Enough of that "I'm all alone waa waa" lame-o pity party.  Guess what?



 
I'm an adult.  I know.  Shocking.  I'm capable, I'm willing to learn. . . I can handle this.
 
A friend said to me a while back,
 
"I really wanted to switch out my kitchen faucet, but have no idea how.  But I figured I'd call you and we could do it together."
 
I'm sooo flattered, but it would be the blind leading the blind.  Never done that in my life.
 
 
But guess what!?  I'M AN ADULT.  I keep saying that to the daddy-o over and over.  "No problem!  Because I, am AN ADULT." I ree-hee-heally wanna learn to be a little more capable.  Heck my own faucet desperately needs to be replaced, and come heck or high water (maybe even literally there) I will figure it out. 
 
First little step towards independence and adulthood?
 
I switched out all my outdoor light fixtures.  Cost me an arm and a leg.  I had the builder grade tarnished brassy ones that I've wanted to trade for-ever. 
 
 
Can I just say?  I intensely regret not spending more money to get something really nicer.  These are okay-- I like 'em and all, but bigger would have been better, and these don't weather well.  'Cause I've seen 'em on a lot of other houses and they turn an ugly rust color and that sucks.  Just sayin'.
 
Anyways. 
 
I didn't wait for the hubs to come home and handle the electrical like I normally do.  I didn't call anyone and ask advice like I normally do-- (not that that's wrong because it isn't--)
 
I shut off the breaker and read and re-read the instructions and got these suckers done.  And then and only then did I call the Daddy-o to make sure I wasn't going to burn the house down in the middle of the night with my work.
 
 
So, baby steps. 
 
Oh!  and while I was at it I spray painted our house numbers a nice shiny black, added the garage door hardware because I think it's neat-o (yes we have 2 garages and both are pretty filled with my junk thanks for asking),
 
 
 
and then figured our house has always needed one of those number plaques because those are super nifty and I've always wanted one,
 
 
and our house, externally, is indeed getting a little facelift here and there. 
 
 Also, did I mention that I'm an adult?  I am. 

4 comments:

J Young said...

I am SO right here with you, the frustration I feel over our yard is GINORMOUS. We're on 1/3 acre and our house sat vacant for about 18 months in foreclosure. Yeah. It looks pretty awesome.
LAst year we focused a lot on the inside and this is supposed to be the year of the yard but things are going SOOOO slowly!!

Libby said...

Yep know the "un-white-trash our yard" project...got a lot done today...should start on the raspberry bushes pruning etc. DID get a couple of estimates on exterior work for house...roof, windows and siding...talk about construction grade stuff...I'd call it "barely make code" grade.

I learned from my mother to do things myself. She said that she saw no reason why she should have to wait for my father to come home to change lamp cord plugs. If she wanted it done soon (Dad worked lots just like your Jeff as did my hubbens when the kids were little).

Welcome to the "not useless as ---s on a bull" group of women. (rather crass analogy but it works).

Zefi said...

LOL I feel your pain. I've been working on 'un-white trashing' our house for 3 years now. Its coming along. Slowly. As I like to say, if we didn't have weeds we wouldn't have green around the house. I despair. One of these days I'll have to face facts that if I want a REAL lawn I'll have to go ahead and LEARN how to get one.... Though I'm sorely tempted to just lay fake turf over our entire yard... that'd be nice! :)

Suesan Kennard said...

In a week you can call me and I will come help you put in a new faucet because I will just be down the road "a piece" from you in little ol' Orem.

Looking forward to being back west.