Tuesday, January 14, 2014

I'm Uptight & I Know It.

I can't believe I'm saying this,
 
but I am totally hooked, hooked, on new year's resolutions.  Goals, if you will.  They don't have to begin at the beginning of a year, but I just . . . thrive off goals.
 
(Last year's main resolution.  Still hope to carry on with this one.)
 
Can't believe I just said that, because I thought resolutions were kind of lame back in the day.  Then came 2013 and bam, I had like, what, 5 goals last year?
 
This year I have like. . . oh let me count. . . (1, 2, . . . 12.)  12 goals.  It's kind of ridiculous.  I'm not gonna share 'em all with you right now--
 
think of it as when you dated someone you really liked, and you know that you're not going to take them to a family reunion on the 2nd date or something--- nonono, you don't throw people into crazy town all at once.  You ease them into the craziness of Uncle so and so this time and then Grandma so and so a little bit down the road. . . 
 
It's like that.  I'm easing you into my crazy.
 
And anyways, a lot of these goals aren't interesting to anyone but me.  Take, for instance, my "365 Days of Scripture Reading" for 2014.  I'm pretty good about this anyway-- I usually do read 360 ish days of the year with a day here and there out of town, I forgot, and whatnot, but knowing I do it every day of the year offers me some satisfaction. 
 
But the biggest one for the year?  The main thing I'm going to focus on for 2014 (and hopefully carry on forever)?
 
If I had to just choose a word for the year, it would be:
 
 
 
CHILL.
 
I've said it before, and I'm gonna say it again:
 
"Mandi is so tight, that if you stuck a lump of coal, in her fist, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."
 
 
Thank you, Ferris.  Quote altered for cleanliness.  This is a family blog, people.
 
I just have to own this about myself.  I'm an uptight person.  And yet I'm totally not, and yet I am.  But I'm not.  But I am. 
 
Part of this about my personality is good: I like to think I'm dependable.  Responsible.  I thrive off being productive.  That's great 'n all,
 
but since I spend nearly ev.er.y. weekend on a different floor of my house than the rest of my family, trying to "get ahead", taking care of mail, laundry, dishes, errands, etc.etc.,
 
whilst the rest of the fam plays a game and hangs out together, and I always feel like I missed out and I was the only one who was "responsible waaa" (queue the violin solo doesn't it get old to be the martyr). . .
 
yeah.  There's no such thing as getting "ahead" in this world.  There's always another thing that could be done.  Am I right or am I right or am I right?  Always another errand, another project, another chore. . .
 
and in the meantime, I just missed out. 
 
Another side note of this year's main resolution:
 
I'm going to be ultra careful about how my time and my family's time gets scheduled.  Specifically: over-scheduled.
 
 
This is gonna be hard, because there are so many good things in life, and I actually think my kids need to be in extracurricular stuff to help their self-esteem 'n all, BUT,
 
I'm going to have to take a step back and ask, "Will this make us feel overly busy?"
 
"Will this make us feel rushed and hurried?"
 
I believe in down time.  And furthermore,
 
I believe that if I'm overly busy, then I'm not available to help.  There's such a thing as being too busy to help or to even think about other people.  Neighbor needs help?  A babysitter?  A favor? 
 
No problem.  I'm here.  I can help and I want to help.
 
See what I'm saying?  Someone tell me you're more uptight than me.  Make me feel better. 
 

9 comments:

Nicki Rocky said...

I know the feeling. I too am always the "responsible" one. I am trying to embrace it so that I can drop it when I want to and be a bit wild!

Lisa @ Shine Your Light said...

I like your word of the year. You don't come across as uptight at all by the way, I'm so surprised to hear you say that! It's your year to let things go so that you can hang with your family more. And by the by your munchkins can do half those things you are stranded on a desert island doing by your lonesome, I can't believe how much I have let go of things like the kids' rooms and the folding and putting away of the laundry. My house isn't always tidy anymore but I'm way nicer to myself than I used to be! Try it :) :)

Jami said...

Ouch! You got me. The one who is working while everyone else is playing. But I am also that one lady whose counters are cluttered, projects are half done, housework is only passable...I'm not getting ahead, but I won't give up either. I'd love to find balance. My word for the year is "do" As in stop wishing it and "just do it". My goal is to get over being annoyed that no one else is doing it and just get it done and move on.

mariawithlove said...

I'm tooootally uptight. I should also take that mantra. CHILL.

I don't even know where to begin...

It sounds like you have a great plan, good luck!!

Rach said...

Yup.

Zefi said...

I hear you. Sometimes my partner has to drag me outside screaming, just to share a cup of coffee and enjoy the view.

Cathy M~(checkitoff) said...

Chill? You? We are going to need pictures documenting the chill mode of Mandi!!! I love that you are such a thinker and you put so much time and effort to better yourself! You inspire me! hugs, cathy

Rebecca D said...

I love goals but only ones others set... I let myself down regularly but not other people... Go figure. I do set resolutions and rarely break them if I make them public... I break them in less then a week if they are private.
As far as being chill... I think I am too chill, I need more drive these days. I just got back from a trip and for some reason I refuse to leave the house. I am so chill I may become agoraphobic!

Shari Nelson said...

I love resolutions too! I have about 6 this year, and I have chosen a word for the year also. Love this. It works for me to have goals, otherwise I'd have nothing to do but watch TV.