Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Me. Me Me Me Mememememe Me.

Today is my birfday. 
 
I actually think birthdays are highly overrated.
 
But even so, you're about to find out more about me than you ever, ever needed or wanted to know.  Things could get ugly.  Scary.  Crazy emotional.  I'm a complex person.
 
Oh!  But first, and since it's my birthday, humor me, 'cause I have a question:
 
well let me preface: I've had exactly 14 birthdays as a married woman, and the hubs has forgotten exactly 13 of those birthdays, or if you need it as a percentage:
 
92.85714285714286%
 
and just to make things even more interesting, know that the one other birthday not forgotten was because I went out of my way to keep reminding him.
 
But the plot thickens.
 
So, I um, like to think of this whole forgetful birthday thing as a test, if you will.  I'm testing Jeffro.  It's an annual test.  That he fails.  Annually.
 
So now we've come full circle.  Question:  is this playing dirty?  Is this entrapment?  I just kind of like messing with him.  I mean, he's so incredibly awesome in so many other ways.  Yeah, he hogs the bed all the time, 'n birthdays aren't his forte--
 
or anniversaries, or his kids' birthdays, or their middle names, or how to spell my first name--
 
anyway, don't worry.  You don't need to give him the heads up.  I overheard the 6 year old telling him. 
 
(. . .. pause. . .pause. . . pause. . ."Oh yeah. . ."  pause. . .pause. . . "that's right it is today. . . " )
 
Okay.  Enough of that.  You're all thinking less of me, aren't you?  Well just wait 'cause we're not done here.
 
* It's not that I don't like the name of my blog, because I really do like my last name 'n all,
 
but I don't like the name of my blog.  Why, self, why?  Why??  (Add another thing to tell myself if I could go back in time and give myself helpful information).
 
What would I name the blog if I could change it?  "Falling Up The Stairs".  Swish. 
 
* I'm a little snooty when it comes to bananas.  I like bananas a great deal.  But bananas-- well, I like to think of myself as a connoisseur.  They must be slightly green and without a speck of brown.  If they're slightly browned?  They're still good.  But they won't be peeled and eaten by moi.  They can be frozen for a smoothie or put in banana bread.  They've been demoted, as it were.
 
*Big pet peeve (I have waaay too many pet peeves-- it's a personal problem I'm working on): dead fish handshakes.  A limp, dead handshake, to me, is the same as saying:
 
"It's so NOT nice to meet you."
or
"I'm scanning the room for the nearest sink to wash my hands as soon as this handshake is over"
or
"I'm a wimpy pansywaist who feels awkward and uncomfortable even when I just talk to myself."
 
A handshake is meant to be good and firm.  It mirrors the smile on your face.  You can even do that prissy side handshake some women do, as long as you squeeze firmly and smile.   But still know that I don't prefer it.
 
*Few quirky things about me (we don't even have that kind of time for all) : I'm left-handed, I have two left-handed children, don't even think about touching my insanely ticklish feet because I kick. Hard., I'm embarrassingly allergic to everything hay fever/dust related and consequently sneeze insane amounts of times, rub my eyes half my life, and itch my face the other half (have you ever had the back of your throat itch to the point of insanity?),  I love all food except for really fishy fish (I believe fish should taste like chicken.), I have an absurd paranoia of big pieces of spinach in my teeth when I'm eating with groups of people, I think citrus-y smells, particularly grapefruit, are what heaven would smell like, and finally,
 
all posts should have a picture.  Preferably more than one. 
 
 
I'm in the striped purple shirt.  That elephant belt is boss.

25 comments:

Lori said...

Happy Birthday! and I say that with a very firm handshake!!

Samantha said...

Falling up the stairs? What about Falling up the stairs while moulding the ceiling because I moulded everywhere else? I would subscribe before you could say 'my husband is a weakling'. I now pay my sister in chocolate to remind my husband it's my birthday a week before. And tell him what to buy me. It's a fair system, and I feel like he remembered! Also, happy birthday!!! We're birth month twins, mine was on the 8th. I feel that makes me cooler somehow. :)

Nancy said...

Loved it!! My birthday was yesterday! Happy Birthday to you!!

Ashley said...

Happy Birthday!! My birthday is also in November - November 2oth, and for years whenever my mom would write my birth date on forms she would put 11/22 instead of 11/20 - but she never missed my actual birthday. Now it is a standing joke in my family that my birthday is on the 22nd.

Janelle said...

Yea for you! I love learning about you. I actually thought your birthday was on the 13th- so that is something I learned. I love the picture of you and the elephant belt. I love the 80's. Happy birthday Mandi!

DressUpNotDown said...

Yes, the elephant belt IS boss!

Oops, forgot to say "Happy Birthday". Just kidding...I typed it didn't I? :o)

www.dressupnotdown.blogspot.com

Kimbo West said...

happpppppppppy birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyy gurl! love you and your blog (even the name)I think we are two pees in a pod. i don't write my birthday on the calendar in hopes that my husband forgets so i can get an even better present cause he feels bad he forgot. (mother's day too)

Connie @ Measured by the Heart said...

You just gave my hubby insane brownie points and made me realize I'm spoiled. I get a birthday week and he never forgets.

rose knight said...

Happy Birthday. I get a kick out of reading your blog. It seems there is always something to make me smile. I agree with you on the wimpy handshakes and bananas.
Keep it up. My husband doesn't do birthdays or anniversaries and seems to have trouble with our children's birthdays also. But, he is great at so many other things..I guess we can't have it all. Rose :)

Jami said...

Happy Birthday to you!!!! We do a "Birthday Week" celebration (which basically amounts to that celebrated person getting lots of hugs and getting to pick the menu that week, and usually a trip to Dairy Queen or whatever) but it makes SURE no one is forgotten. ;)
PS I don't eat oreos or brownies in public for the same reason. LOL

Zefi said...

Happy Birthday! I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to read blogs, just skim for photos (so yes, they should all have at least one photo). I'm so glad I stopped to read yours. I love reading your blog.

Wierd about the itching face and throat thing. I get those, sometimes the itch expands to all over my body. I knew it was something to do with allergies (I'm allergic to pollen like 91.8976655% of the world) and have taken to keeping a bottle of Cointreau next to the bed cause when I get one of those coughing fits in the middle of the night its the only thing that can stop the coughing and consequent throwing up. Ugh.

No. I'm not an alcoholic. LOL I rarely drink. But Cointreau is nice and strong. Does the job with the cough. Luckily most coughing fits for me start in the middle of the night or I'd have to drink all day!

Evelyn said...

Aww...this made my day! Happy birthday Mandi!!

james and bess said...

happy belated birthday! i hope your hubs came through with something decent for you. :) i get a birthday week only because i announce it to the household peeps for several weeks before-hand, so they will be warned that i will get whatever i want, for a whole week. (not that i don't get what i want for the rest of the year - me and martyrdom don't mix well.) i hate allergies! i get them in the spring (and, apparently, in the fall, since everything blooms twice in nevada...?) and i hate it when the insides of my eyes itch, because then it feels really good to rub them super hard, you know? anyhoo, happy b-day to you! :)!

Kris said...

Happy Birfday HUN. (Peeve: people who call you Hun because they can't / don't recall your name). Hope the hubs bought you a fabulous gift!

Jen said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, fellow Scorp!
Mine is today......... If it weren't for facebook, everyone would've forgotten. ;)

Laura Silva said...

Happy Birthday! I feel the exact same way about the bananas. I pawn them off on the kids once they start to get a spot or two. :) And the handshake thing, I completely agree with as well. It seems almost worse coming from a man, but even women should be able to be polite and shake like they mean it! I am also very allergic and get the itchy throat thing. It is awful. And you can't really scratch it, so I look ridiculous trying to rub my own throat with my tongue! Hope you had a fabulous day!

Tina said...

Happy Birthday to you Woooo Hoooooo. Hoping you have the best year ever. Wooo Hoooo

Rebecca D said...

Happy Belated Birthday! You ROCKED that elephant belt!

Eileen Murray said...

Happy Birthday!! Hey if you change the name of your blog that's cool...but please don't change your banner because it cracks me up every.single.time.
So, next year in anticipation of your birthday being forgotten again, buy yourself an insanely INSANELY ridiculously expensive gift and present it to yourself from him at dinner. Tell him you know he's busy so you shopped for him and now he owes you a kazillion bucks. Make him give it to you. He won't forget again!! YOU ROCK!

Rach said...

Hope you had a great birthday and you got spoiled! (maybe by someone else besides your husband? Hee he)

Down with brown bananas!

Eryn Novak said...

You have the same birthday as my husband... as well as my dead father. I think I am the bazaaro you. I forget my husband's birthday alot and end up ordering gifts online the day before.... then blaming it on the shipping. Oh well, we all have our faults.

Good luck on your blog. Funny stuff.

Cathy M~(checkitoff) said...

Happy Belated Bday Mandi!! Did the hubs remember??? I am a leftie and so is my hubs and 1 of my 3 kids is a leftie!!! So a little tip for eye allergies...ask your eye doc about Bepreve...it has helped my eyes so so much!!! Hope all is well cutie!!! hugs, cathy

Cathy M~(checkitoff) said...

Are you on Instagram? If so, please find me: cathymskier

Lisa @ Shine Your Light said...

Happy crazy-belated birfday, my friend! So glad to play this game of get to know you. You were the cutest little munchkin ever with that elephant belt….if I wasn't like 2 decades your senior, we would have totally been 5 year old besties!

Leslie@leserleeslovesandhobbies said...

I'm the same way with bananas. And limp handshakes. And my feet used to be super ticklish, but then, somehow, I was able to get over it. Your birthday is 11/12? How could your husband forget that? Mine is 12/13.