Thursday, September 12, 2013

When Your Stomach Starts A Rollin' And You're Cleaning Out Your Colon.

Whenever I think or talk about being grateful, and I'm counting my blessings 'n stuff,
 
the very first thing I think of is being able-bodied. 
 
You know, being healthy and strong and able to get up in the morning and work?  Big blessing.  Hee-uge. And I mean this with the utmost sincerity.
 
On the flip side,
 
when I get sick, I can't even handle it.  I am the world's biggest baby.  If I asked Jeffro,
 
"Would you say that when I'm sick, I'm the world's biggest baby?"
 
he'd be all,
 
"Not to your face."
 
 
And this week, I've had this illness -- it started with the body aches, and man my back hurts like a B, and then continues with nausea and stomach churnings and then full out liquid diarrhea.
 
You know.  The hot poops.  Hershey squirts.  Runs. Trots. Montezuma's revenge. Government budgets.
 
And so forth.
 
I haven't run in days.  And that hasn't happened in a long time.  I totally know that real "runners" wouldn't let a little sickness stop them. 
 
But I also know that I'd head out, and three minutes in to the jog I'd crap my pants and then have to waddle back home and I'm not up for that right now. 
 
So I'm feeling kind of sorry for myself because I'm a big baby.  And I shan't speak of poop anymore, 'cause that's just sick and who's my audience?  A bunch of 8 year old boys?  And I'm sorry.
 
So today, in honor of having the plague, let's talk about happy and fun things, shall we?


Oh.  Before we even begin, my favorite band released a new album.  And we all know that's like Christmas morning.  And I think we should listen to one of my favorites off that album while we chat.



It's mood music, people.


So!  First off,
 
 
this is my new coffee table, and it's just a sneaky peeky, but I love this thing.  I said to myself,
"Self, this could make the entire room."  And I mean it.
 
Secondly,
 
 
all my children are in school this year, for about 2 ish hours, 3 times a week.  This is like some kind of alternate universe I'm living in.
 
I seriously can't even get over it.  And I'm not one to want to be without the kidlets all the time I swear-- I'm the mom who has a meltdown going on an overnighter,
 
but I just . . . it's like. . . everything I do, I'm like,
 
"Holy cow-- I can go to the bathroom. . . by myself."
 
"I could run to the store and pick up milk. . . by myself."
 
"I can take a shower. . . by myself."
 
"I can sit here for a minute and pick my nose. . . by myself."
 
Mind blown.
 
Thirdly,
 
 



I don't remember where I saw this on the interwebs, but it's freaking hilarious.  Read the whole thing and I promise you won't be disappointed.
I'm not cool with fat shaming, but when you're a thief you lose certain rights.
 

Fourth,
 
and speaking of funny things on the interwebs,
 


maybe I'm the last person on earth to have seen these videos.   It's "Conversations With My 2 Year Old".  Reenacted by two men.  Which everyone probably already knows.

Watch all the episodes.   Any parent with a toddler can't not love it.

Fifth?  Fave blog I'm reading. 

Manhattan Nest



A bloggy buddy told me this was their fave blogger and so I had to check it out (thank you!!) and I'm totally hooked.  They're renovating this house that has the awesomest potential ever, but more (way more) than that, his writing is that kind of writing where you read every word. 

And last but certainly not least,

Austenland.


Saw this with my homegirls (double chest pound with a peace sign, homegirls) last week, and I found it to be so highly entertaining that I'd go see it again and my cheapskate self would pay full price in a heartbeat.

In conclusion, I'd also like to give a shout out to "Once Upon A Time", season 2 on Netflix, for helping me get through this wasting disease. 

Thanks for indulging me.  Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go destroy a toilet.

7 comments:

dougssunrise said...

I almost spit coffee on my computer LOL!!! I hope you feel better soon.

Ashlee @ I'm Topsy Turvy said...

I adore you. period.

Jackie said...

Feel better Mandi!

Elisha Albretsen @ Pneumatic Addict Furniture said...

I guess if you have to look at the bright side. at least you are evacuating all the calories that you would have been burning running. I recently discovered Manhattan Nest as well! Love his style! Feel better.

Kat said...

Oh my word. Love the "crap my pants while out running" part. Get better soon, ya hear? And I guess I need to check out this Manhattan guy, huh?

P.S. Can't wait till all mine are in school.

Rosemary said...

Poor Mandy. I hope you are feeling better very soon. At least you still have your wonderful sense of humour.

-Lisa said...

I somehow stumbled upon 'convos with my 2 yr old' about 3 months ago and was at first a bit hesitant (being a responsible parent an' all) but once I started watching it I felt even guiltier!!! Then I was hooked!!!!
So Mandi, I have to confess, I simply can not LIVE without you! I say this as I pound my chest.
Your insight is astute! I must meet you one day :-)
Fondly-Lisa