Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Identity Crisis.

Once upon a time,
I wanted a white kitchen more than anything.  The only thing that stopped me was the hubs and the Daddy-o's extremely strong "wood purist" opinions.


 If I won a like, $30,000 kitchen makeover today, I couldn't even begin to tell you what I wanted.  Not a freaking clue.  White?  Stain?  Cabinets?  Open shelving?  Stainless?  White?  Marble? Granite?
It's equal to busting out the old calculus book and taking a crack at it.  I'd sit there for hours chewing on a strand of hair with my eyes somewhat crossed and my nostrils flared.
I'd look crazy confused, 's what I'm saying.
Do I even have a point today?
 I mean yes!  No! 

Let's wait 'n see!
What I'm trying to say is--
I'm itching to switch around thee ole living room.  And yet that's quite impossible since I can't spend money, and I've done this all to myself, and yet--

I'm sure you're like me, and you're spending hours and poring over thousands of design pictures, and you love tons of different ideas that are sometimes polar opposites, and you sometimes you don't know what your style is, and you want to be smart and not wasteful just like me--

and remember the Lileks books I always talk about?  "Interior Desecrations" is one of my faves.

It successfully mocks, to my great amusement, horrible home decorating from the 60's and 70's.


(Also, you must be this dorky to write this blog.)

Here's why I bring this up:

Tell me you haven't seen this pattern float around DIY Bloggy Land.

Or arrows!  Seen 'em around lately?

And if this were an updated picture, might one see it pop up in your blog reader or Pinterest as the idea of the day?

It just might could.

And I just have to throw this picture on up here,

because all I can see is that poor violin sawed in half. What's next? I ask you?? Sawing puppies in half?


what am I saying?  That I'm terrified my decorating choices will be memorialized in a humorous future "decorating" book?  That I'm paralyzed by fear because of 70's decorating disasters?

Of course I am! 

But more than that--

does anyone else feel that decorating trends are going in and out like lightning just because of their publicity on the interwebs?

And if you have noticed that, doesn't it feel kind of. . . wasteful?

And just to make this blog post more of a big, confusing headache--

I drug the Daddy-o out to the Parade of Homes on Saturday, because I know he'd enjoy searching for inspiration as much or more than I--

and I'm more confused about what I like and what I want then ever.

 It's this whole "I want to be fashionable but not too trendy but unique but still moderne but all at the same time just me" insanity in my head.

  I do know though, that I am absolutely obsessed with built in seats of any kind. Window seats just speak to my soul.

And this would have been done in my own house over a year ago, on my own stairs landing, if it wouldn't have made it impossible to actually walk up said stairs.

And I don't know if I love this,

but I give the decorator props for trying something new.

And this.

It's just wanted to be done in my home for years. I love that it doesn't need to be massive beams but still gives a "look".

Oh! And remember how I love crown, and yet, I hate it?

Looky what we have here.

FAKE CROWN. Let's just call it "frown".
Regard that they didn't even 45° any of the corners! And MDF is soooo much cheaper than crown. It's like just an arm, instead of an arm and a leg.

And then there's always that one house that makes you covet.

I can't even wrap my brain around this house. The Daddy-o and I both had our mouths hanging open the entire time we walked through--

it's better than Disneyland, we both said.

Every kitchen island in the world now has a complex after seeing this island of all islands.

It has the sink Trifecta.

I mean, the shower for crying out loud.

It's bigger than my bathroom. It has three shower heads. Three. For that mysterious third person who just might get in your bedroom-sized shower and scrub up with you. And that's fine 'n all, but I don't share soap bars.

Oh Em Gee-- and the closet. Daddy-o took a panorama of it so you could get the entire feel of the thing.

Yeah. My closet could have an island, too. We'd just have to stand on it to use the closet.

Okay-- yeah-- let's not talk about this house anymore. I can't take it anymore (HELLO HEATED POOL IN THE BASEMENT!),

but one thing I do wanna say--

A huge popcorn maker with real fountain drinks? That just might be attainable.

 Hey.  I actually know something I really do want.  Score.


lauren @ West Furniture Revival said...

GREAT POST! loved it and it's so true!

Mana said...

If I had a closet like that I would never leave it. But the thing I covet the most is that built in on the stair landing. I would have to get rid of some actual furniture I use in order to have a built in anywhere. (Not to mention I rent and my landlord might murder me if I built stuff into his house.

Fashion and Happy Things

Kimbo West said...

dude. you and me. compatico. i have been having such issues as a fake decorate a house i don't even own yet... trying to find that happy medium of being me..and making it look like a non 4 year old decorated it (i bought a ceramic pig) and what if i get sick of chevron? or bright yellow? seriously..it's to the the point where i won't even decorate cause its so overwhelming.
so i've decided to stick with this motto: http://pinterest.com/pin/62698619784993977/ and this one http://pinterest.com/pin/62698619781783016/.

Suesan Kennard said...

You just saved my life! Frown. It's now a thing and just the perfect solution for my kitchen. I'm totally doing it. Just you wait 'n see. Except, dang it. I just remembered that I actually bought real crown for in there.

Speaking of real crown, WTH is up with Lowes? Their Ultra Oak Crown (the darkest version) is $6.09 for an 8' stick. Their Majestic Oak Crown (think orangey 90s oak) is $9.38/8' stick. But their White Oak Crown is $9.95/8' stick? How does that even make sense. Other than the color, they are exactly the same size and shape. Weird.

Yes, it's the plasticy molding that melts if its next to chop saw blade too long, but still, it's adds up!

Alesa Larsen said...

I had to quit going to parade of homes, because my home always lacked when I came home. Great post.

Lauras Crafty Life said...

I laughed so hard! 'Frown' - too funny! I could actually do that in my house. Great idea! :) I have no idea what my style is. I have spent so long replacing hand me downs with our own stuff, but only as we could afford it, so I still feel like there was no plan. It all goes together I guess, but Better Homes & Gardens isn't coming here to take pictures any time soon!

RachelK said...

Love that closet! I told my builder I wanted white kitchen cabinets, and he just looked at me and said, "We have NEVER installed painted cabinets." Like I just asked him to drown a bunch of puppies or something. Sheesh. And I love when he asks if I'm modern or traditional or French or what. Buddy, I'm all that plus a bag of chips. Let's just call that style "Rachel". If a haircut can be named that, can't we have a decorating style named that too?

Anonymous said...

Girl, you need to get. out. of. my. brain! I picked 4 different beiges to try out on the walls, but now I'm thinking avocado is the way to go! Is there such a thing as schizodecophrenia? This is crazy. Crazy good. Thanks for posting.

Anonymous said...

Girl, you need to get. out. of. my. brain! I picked 4 different beiges to try out on the walls, but now I'm thinking avocado is the way to go! Is there such a thing as schizodecophrenia? This is crazy. Crazy good. Thanks for posting.

Jeannine said...

"Frown" is absolutely the most fantastic made-up word ever! LOVE!!

Jeannine @ The Concrete Cottage

Samantha said...

Popcorn machine & pop machine...LIVIN' THE DREAM Mandi!!

pogonip said...

I was muddled in my decorating too--until Mid-Century Modern became the fad. I'm one of two people in the universe who despise it, but it did make me realize what I DO like and why! So I'm goin' my own way until the rest of the world gets on board my train.

Veronica said...

I have white kitchen cabinets and I hate them. HATE! You just can NOT keep them clean! And I happened to luck out and get a clean freak kid, who can't yet reach those top cabinets that always have something on them, in spite of just being wiped down. Long story short, (too late!) save yourself the agony and don't have a white kitchen. Unless you and no one in your household never actually use your cabinets, in which case knock yourself out.

Anne said...

I totally agree about blogs/Pinterest leading to short attention spans. I've been sick of grey and yellow and chevron for a long time (in fairness they aren't trends I ever loved so I might not be the best judge) but by the time I felt really over it it was just barely hitting the shelves at Target and Walmart. It's been around blogs for a while but now it's in the regular stores and has a while to be bought and enjoyed there. It's weird that something can be totally passe and new at the same time.

There are certain trends I love and hope stay around for a long time but for my house I try to lean classic on the things that are harder to change (like the floor) and do my own thing on the semi-permanent things (like painting my back door red- I get to enjoy it but it's easy to switch out anytime!)

Do what you like and don't stress what other people think! I LOVE that you love molding! I think it's so fun! I like red and I'm not embarrassed by it anymore. My friends used to tease me that whatever it was I bought it in red (not quite true but close) but my house is cohesive, I like it, and it makes me happy. We don't all want to live in the same house!

PS The pictures from your books are AMAZING. Too funny.

Anne said...

I forgot to say I'm glad you mentioned the waste. Respraypainting your thrift store find is different than ripping out brand new hard wood floors because you don't love the color. I feel like a lot of these issues are total first world problems and we might all be better off if we just made do a little instead of wasting so much stuff.

Shelah Dow said...

Just love your blog, but I love this post the most. :)

Unknown said...

If your closet requires A PANORAMIC LENS to photograph it, you are most likely not a redneck. Yowsers!

And I'm seriously dying over the trendspotting. It's true! I work for a couple of bloggers finding things/bloggers for them to feature, so believe you me when I say I see these things circulate like lightning. And it is slightly paralyzing to me when it comes to doing stuff to my own home. Just as I'm hanging that chalkboard up on my wall, I discover that everyone is switching chalkboard for tile mosaics or string art or pink narwhales. It boggles the mind.

Mary said...

K, Mandi, check it.

I fought my husband for 2 years about painting our stupid bare wood trim white. "It's too dark!" I said. "I like it!" he would always reply.

THEN we find out we have to move and I was like, "Dude, we gotta paint this trim white so the house can be all staged and stuff." We had to call our realtor before he would believe, yes, most people prefer white trim and you only really should leave historic houses with the bare wood look. Then we busted our hinies painting it all so we could move out a month later.

Moral or the story: don't listen to men. They always prefer bare wood. But everyone that walked through our house after was all "Wow, you house looks so much more open and bright!" Even my husband admitted it. Paint you kitchen now while you get to enjoy it!

Lisa @ Shine Your Light said...

I'm with you on the wasteful part of decorating just to keep one's house in vogue. Blech. I'm just trying to take my house out of 1985, and by the time I'm done doing that it'll be 2020 and everything I've done will be outdated (even the kitchen I haven't even done yet). But molding!!! It never goes OUT. It's always in! So trim away every nook and corner of your house! I will be over to enjoy popcorn and fountain drinks while I watch you work :).

Mandi @ Vintage Revivals said...

So my MIL has that book, and the more I look at it the more I actually like the stuff in it. Like really like. What does that say about me?

DJ said...

I love the fake crown molding. Do you know the style name? I can't find it anywhere.