You know that staple sitcom plot line,
where someone gets bonked on the head and acts the opposite of themselves, until they get bonked again?
That's me, right now. Although I'm pretty sure I didn't get bonked on the head.
I don't wanna hear any guffaws, or anything, and don't have a heart attack and die from this surprise, but I have actually kept my house **spotless for over a month.
**My version of spotless is not your version of spotless.
we all know I'm on the "GREAT SPENDING CLEANSE OF 2013". And I also dubbed this year "ORGANIZATION 2013" as well--
do you know what you get when you mix the two, and add a dash of boredom?
You get a totally anal, neurotic, cleaning lady who is making the bed around you before you even get out of it and is wiping the table around your plate of food before you're done.
But also, since no purchased crap is coming into the house, annnndddd. . . you're organizing the crap you have now. . .
suddenly, it's boomshakalaka,
you're staying up 'til midnight, organizing the crap out of your filing cabinet, you totally gave up your "kids are in bed let's get crazy!" time,
and you're left with an entire bag of paper shreds, and if I needed an insurance policy, it wouldn't take me an hour to come up with it. (We were keeping two residences ago of utilities? What the?)
I know what you're thinking: you need me to address your wedding invitations with my fantastic penmanship. I get that a lot.
And then, you get a little free time, and you find yourself completely overhauling Thing 4's bedroom closet, and the floor has literally not been seen since the first day you moved in.
And I wish I was joking. This is a miracle. I should sell tickets and put this on display like a circus freak show, people.
I'm feeling so good-- I feel in control of my life and my house.
Do you do this? Where things have a "place", like the shelf up high in the closet, but it's a mountain of crap that will avalanche if you even breathe on it?
That's how it was in here, until I had the should-have-been-obvious idea to store winter shiz in baskets. That took me 3 minutes and solved 90% of the problem in there.
I have only a couple little nooks 'n crannies left in my house to organize, and no one is more surprised than me.
Boys' church clothes closet? (Yeah- there's one closet just for dress clothes. That's kind of weird now that I think about it.)
Fully organized. And if you judge the cheap-o hangers then you can just go back the way you came in!
(note to self: get real hangers.)
I can't even believe I can see the top shelf in there. I could almost cry.
Boys regular clothes? Culled and organized. My closet-- Bam. ONLY what I actually wear is left in there. Jeffo's side is organized by weekend shirts, work shirts, long-sleeved shirts. . .
there's a spot for basketball shorts and undies and socks and ties--
and suddenly, the hubs and I, we were like Hans and Leia, and Jeffro was Leia, and he was like
"I love you."
and I was all,
And there's even this spot under the stairs, that would be soooo cool as one of those cool little kids' secret hideouts that people are doing, but I just know it will end up like the tent where I will put all this effort and money into something that my kids will play with for 5 seconds and then I'd be totally T.O.'d--
and so instead it's this totally fugly spot for all the camping crap we have for the camping we never do!
Seriously-- you couldn't even walk in this little space before I got all up in here and started shoveling stuff out of here.
So, is this what one does before they have a mental breakdown? Tell me. I need to know.
know what I said about my version of clean not being your version of clean? Crap is picked up. Almost everything has a "place", and I'm actually keeping it there. But. BUT. I like big BUT's and I cannot lie. . .
I'm not a cluttery gal, but I'm not a "my floor is so sterile you could eat off it" kind of gal. And I just. . .can't make myself be that gal.
You know those cleaner commercials where they show this immaculate kitchen and there's that one spill and the mom wipes it up and then like hackey sacks the wipe into the garbage can on her way out the door?
I wanna be that mom, but it's not in me.
I have a point, here. But I forgot what it was.
Oh! So, my house is "picked up". But I like to call that clean. And I hate mopping so bad could someone please tell me how to love doing that sucky project thanks. And this cleaning phase? It happens once a decade. It's like how often I have a good hair day.
"I'm having a bad hair day. Bad hair decade, actually."
What I'm saying is,
I give you my personal guarantee that I will get discouraged, and my house will go back to the cesspool it normally is.
I think I'm telling you this, because I can already feel myself slipping, and I want you to keep me honest. Keep me accountable.
I once showed you the disaster in my mudroom, and it shamed me into solemnly swearing on this here blog that I wouldn't let that room become a trash heap ever again.
And I swear, I've done pretty good! I try really hard to not dump stuff in here, anymore.
Two weeks ago, I swore not to put any junk on my window sill,
and I've done it. My word is my bond! So bite me neighbor who told me I make you feel better because my house is always dirtier than yours!
Right now, I'm into all these organization and cleaning tips, and I kept reading this one tip over and over again, and it sounded awful, but it's something I HAVE to do:
Leave a room better then when you found it.
This has seemed soooo painstaking and torturous to me--
but it must be done. I have 4 buttmunches and their friends to contend against, and I feel so OCD and this is sooo not me,
but I can't leave a room without straightening it, IF I wanna keep up with this house.
Do you have like, a list you keep to? Is there a cleaning/organizing tip that has changed your life? I'm all ears. Help a sista out. And someone help me stay strong, here.
'Cause we can't go back to this:
Well, actually, we could. Like a dog to his vomit, we could. I'm sceered.