Thursday, March 7, 2013

Cats & Dogs Living Together. Mass Hysteria.

Before I get into the whats of this project, first allow me to tell you the whys.

(Yes, the water is green.)

Mornings in this house-- it's cats and dogs, living together.  Mass hysteria.  If you were a fly on the wall in this house?  First, you would have a lot of crumbs to eat, but second,

you would hear crap like this on a day to day basis.
"Hey bud, your fly is down."
(said in a totally annoyed and exasperated voice): "WHY DOES IT HAVE TO MATTER?  GOSH."
"Both your shoes are untied, buddy.  Lemme tie them for you."
"NO!  I like them that way!"
Also, I say "buddy" a lot.  Especially when I'm trying to keep the peace.
Daily, I come at my boys, wielding a spray bottle and comb.  Oft times, I make the water in the spray bottle warm, just to be nice. 

"OH MY GOSH, MOM!  You do this!!  ARRRR!"
Now, this last one is said in the same tone you might use for this accusation:
"My gosh, Mom!  Every morning, before 9:00 a.m., you get drunk and pass out on the couch, and I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
Yep.  Same tone.  I had noooo idea I was such an evil mother.  The crap my kids have to put up with.
For the record though, it is pretty annoying to get sprayed at or near the face with a spray bottle.  I tried it once and thought, "Ew that's annoying".  So I'll give them that.
Oh, man--
let us not forget this month's new curve ball: the one where my son absolutely refuses to take a shower.

(not this son, though.)
I don't get this.  I'm so confused-- he absolutely loved baths and showers, and then suddenly, BAM, next thing you know I'm lecturing him about hygiene, man-handling him, and practically tossing him into the shower.
I wouldn't be more surprised about this new turn of events then if a boot came out of this monitor right now and kicked me in the head.
So, I'm saying mornings are rough, sometimes.  That's what I'm saying.
I'm also keeping all these comments close to my heart for when my kids are old enough to care and start asking for specific brands of hair gel, deodorant, and Axe body spray.
"Really?  You want me to buy that for you?  Remember that time, when you were 5, and you gave me a hard time about zipping up your fly before school?"
Kids.  Can't live with them,
the end.
So whatever I can do to make things a little smoother, right?  I've seen this idea in its various forms all over the interwebs, and it is ingenious.  I've pinned one here, and Mandy did it here.
Got myself a couple scrap boards of 1x3 (and we all know that the true measurements would be 3/4" by 2 1/2", don't we?),
and routed them to make them all purty-like, and then painted, for which I wanted to cuss.
Okay here's the thing: I have discovered that my life will be infinitesimally easier, if I had certain items on alllll the floors of my house. 
Let me 'splain.  No, there is too much.  Let me sum up:
we have what I call "teeth" problems in this house.  Genetic gifts of the teeth, if you will.  Some of my kids have soft enamel, and soft enameled teeth can look yellowed in a jiffy.  Thus, I ensure that my kids brush their teeth right before they leave the house, to give them a sporting chance.
I mean right before they leave the house-- they hand me back their toothbrush when they open the door.
Thus, I need toothbrushes on my main level, as well.
And here it is, inside the over-the-john!  With absolutely no regard to the ancient art of spacing!
Toothbrushes for all children who leave in the morning, combs, and even some rubber bands to tame the baby girl's hair in a hurry, and of course, the evil spray bottle.
And then upstairs?  Before bedtime?  Bam.

I am dealing with pocket doors on both sides of this bathroom, and do not have studs to rely on for strength, so this was a bit of a challenge.
If I were cool, these cups would be beautiful glass ones.  I give you my personal guarantee that beautiful glass ones would break, and again, this needs to be lightweight due to the lack of studs.

Everyone has a cup for their 5th cup of water before bedtime, and life is just a little bit simpler.  Take a tip from me: do NOT go in this bathroom.  WOOOO.  I do my best to avoid it, and you should, too, if you know what's good for you.


Mandy Beyeler said...

mine were super cute mason jars, because there's no way to break them, right? wrong - - some kid found a way to knock it out and shatter the glass - - and now we have mismatched colored tupperware cups in ours - so at least your cups are clear!

Deanna said...!!! So glad I'm not the *only* one with this problem...and now I have a *pattern* for a solution! THANK YOU!!!!

Any tips for drilling through formica? Our bathroom walls around the sink are covered in the counter-top junk...tried to drill through it to hang up a towel rod, and wondered about investing in a rock drill-bit....sorta joking. LOL!

SueAnn Lommler said...

You totally crack me up! I remember those days,,,.long gone now and then went through them again with grandson!! Sheesh!
Have fun

Maureen said...


This is such a great idea!


Amy Fennell said...

I have 3 boys. I seriously feel your pain. And, just wait until the teenage years. They stink worse, and get even nicer to their mom. My 7 year old often sounds suspiciously like a teenager, as well. And, I have officially quit spray bottle duty in the mornings. The little sprays his own hair and combs it...only the front part. The rest can just go it's own way.

Tara Wild said...

I just stumbled onto this, started reading and now can't stop laughing at the one liners. thank you I needed the good laugh probably because I just spent the day at a lazercade with 13 preteen boys. I'm loopy anyways, right now I hear someone throwing bb's into my hallway.. Love the idea of bathroom spot for toothbrushes, beats them being in the sink all the time.

Emily said...

that is such a good idea to put them out in the hall. with cups! You are a geniuos!

Kerrye said...

Told my son to zip his jeans up once. He said "We don't live in New York City, Mom." Huh? "We ain't fancy." Yep. We don't, and we ain't ... ('cause we all know only fancy New Yorkers zip their pants...)

Kerrye said...

Told my son to zip his jeans up once. He said "We don't live in New York City, Mom." Huh? "We ain't fancy." Yep. We don't, and we ain't ... ('cause we all know only fancy New Yorkers zip their pants...)

Jess said...

One of my sisters kids has teeth that look yellow a lot - the dentist said to throw out the electric brush and use a manual one instead. Huge difference. Not sure if that would work for you or if manual non-electric brushes are an old fashioned Australian thing, but yeah, worked for her :)

Leslie@leserleeslovesandhobbies said...

Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, FTW! I'm glad our house is all one level, well, 'cept for the dungeon.

MtnMama said...

I have been enjoying looking at your work...all of the molding, painting, creative ideas. You are good! I was struck however, by your view of yourself. As I read your view of yourself, I expected a person who is at least 50 lbs. overweight. Then you posted the photo of yourself from behind while you are tacking up a piece of molding. Your butt is NOT big! You are slim and look beautiful from behind. Please don't waste another nanosecond of your life worrying about your butt! Please! You are great just as you are. I have spent too many years feeling bad because I wasn't skinny. Now I look back at my pictures and think..."You weren't fat! You were fine!" I felt like I had wasted so much energy feeling bad when I could have felt good. Is this okay to say? Enjoy who you are. You are great!