Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The House That Satan Built.

I need to talk.  Talk it out.  Hug it out. 
 
Can you shrink me?  I can pay you for your time.  In Monopoly money.
 
Sigh.  My other house



Yes, it's the ongoing saga.  I have a lot of feeeeelings about this house.  Lotsa tied up emotion.  This could take a while.  Hey!  I know!  We should talk finances!!  Er, some other time, then.
 

 
So, when we put this bad boy on the market a month back, we got two offers straight out of the gate.

And all was right with the world-- birds sang, and happiness reigned.

Both offers fell through. Both buyers backed out as fast as they offered.   'N it cut me.  It cut me deep.


 
This has taught me a few things.

-First and foremost: it's not over til it's over.  And even then it might not be over.  Don't count your chickens before they hatch.  And so on, and so forth.

-People are fickle.  I do get that most people want to move into a completely ready house.  I get that.  Not on a personal level-- I'm just saying that's what I've been told and I choose to believe it. I do get that most people don't look at a house for its possibilities-- some people are not DIYers.  Got it.

BUT,

to the nearly 40 groups of peeps who've walked through the house, I kinda wanna start waving a gun around and hollering,

"Hello, people!  Every.single.ounce. of flooring is brand new!  All new appliances!  Did you know that every single faucet is brand new?  Did ya know that?  New garbage disposal!  New water heater!  New doorknobs!  New fire alarms, light fixtures, mirrors. . . every single piece of hardware is new in this house, for crying out loud! 

The price on the house is fantastic, great 'hood, ssssoooooooooooooo. . . .


WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

I think, if I were to write down every single solitary step of preparing this house, the list would be in the hundreds, if not reaching a thousand. 

Also, I would shoot myself because that is a crappy task.

The thing is, when we thought we were "done" with this house and stuck it on the market, we weren't really done.  Well, I was done.  Mentally.  But we still continue improving the inside and the outside of the house. 

Let's not even talk about the cost of all this.  Shot the budget all to heck.  I can't even. . . no.  I can feel the chunks rising. 

What is my point?  I'm not sure I have one.  Let's find out.

I think my point is, this sucks.  Yep, that's my point. 


My other point is, is feedback on the house (among many other suggestions like: "we don't like the layout".  Well gee, I 'spose we could just bulldoze the place, too. ) is that we need to "stage" it more. 

And you're all, "WELL, DUH!"


I know, I know.  But remember?  "Mentally done."  Stick a fork in me, because I am so done.  Yesterday.  Before I even started.  When you crank out 1,473 to-do's, you get weary.  ("Isn't the paint color staging enough?  And I put in some fabulous curtains.  C'mon!")



I did put in this fan-freaking-tastic new shower curtain in the master bath.  I might steal it back, I love it so.


And I read somewhere, that fresh, white towels are really inviting.  More so than their colored counterparts.  So white towels it is.


My realtor painted the front door black and got a wreath.  Wasn't that nice?  He knew if I painted one more thing, I might have started swinging a cactus around.  (refer to previous post)


I think it made a huge difference.  I kinda want a black front door, now. 

House is under contract, now.  We'll see how the 3rd time around goes.  Cross your fingers.  And your toes.  And your eyes.  I can't take this kind of pressure.

18 comments:

Michelle Johnnie said...

Sorry! Real estate can be a MAJOR pain in the @#$@#$. We have 4 rental units and some days I am ready to sell them....until I think about getting them ready to sell. It's a MAJOR pain in the @#$@#$. This is starting to sounds like the problems that never ends.

cathgrace said...

OH MAN DO I HEAR YOU! We have had so many bleaping problems selling our house I cannot even tell you. 4 offers, 2 people who couldn't get financing, a real estate agent who WON'T listen to us and stop freaking showing my house to people without financing in place, and now we have had the closing date moved twice, and the buyer bounced a check. I'm ready to kill myself (or someone else) over this I swear. It's costing us $30 in interest every day they don't close, and we are a week away from needing to make another mortgage payment that we will never see the money from. Our feedback has been "we love the house, the silk drapes, the wood floors, the granite counter-tops, etc. we just want to pay foreclosure prices for it, even though that's not what the current market dictates, because we know you live in Korea and we think you don't have other options." Or something like that, that may not have been a direct quote... Here's to sending good vibes each other's way for a quick and smooth closing.

SueAnn Lommler said...

Selling and buyi9ng a house it the most stressful and heartwrenching thing you can do. Hang in there.
I hope this goes through for ya'
Hugs
SueAnn

Sue@House Pretty said...

I hear ya'! We built a log house jut after getting married, and lived in our cottage until the house was finished enough to move into. And I DON'T recommend anyone build a log house, because ours went 40% over budget, ouch! And it took us 2 1/2 years to sell it, double ouch!! However, the next house we lived in and sold, sold the day after it went on MLS. We listened to EVERY WORD our real estate said, but then again he was one smart "cookie". He KNEW his stuff! Haven't had a real estate since that has known their stuff, ironically! One suggestestion I would make, IF you can swing it and it is WITHIN your budget, is to rent JUST enough pieces of modern furniture (since modern seems to be the style of this reno.), to stage the house. Buyers have NO imagination! Zip! Nada! You can't do anything about the layout of the house, but there ARE ways you can make it feel like the home, NOT the house, the next person/couple/family wants to plop their toothbrush in and call home to. And another thing, if you have even ONE last morsel of strength left, for this time of year, I would recommend you add a few Christmas decorations to the house, including putting up and decorating a Christmas tree, and then, yup, take that bad boy right down on New Year's day.

And, above all, I'm REALLY sorry you are in this situation. As I said above, I can really relate, because of our log house. I had NO idea of how to stage our house to sell, when we put it on the market. I knew it had to be spotless, but that's as far as my knowledge went. And we went through THREE real estate agents, and not ONE of them educated us at all on how to have our house showcase ready.

I can relate, and I wish you SO much success!!!

Mindy said...

We just sold our 116 year old home (it takes a special person to take one of those beauties on)... with 4 failed offers first. THEN we closed a month after we were supposed to because of the buyer's financing. I feel your pain. I'd get mad sometimes with the silly things we'd hear back about why someone didn't want our house. I'm like, YES, it's an old house, and there are some things that aren't ideal, but it is also one of the cutes, most charming, full of character houses ever, and you'd be lucky to get it. Whew. Glad that's over. ;)

Karen said...

Honey, I am so so sorry you are having frustrations. Real estate can be one nasty ol' beeyotch, can't she? I sold real estate for years and flipped houses for even more years than that so I feel your pain. Praying for ya that this is the one and it's all smooth sailing from here to closing (and funding ;0)!

Jeannine said...

I must say the entire process of selling a house, from fix up to staging to showings and closings is just pure hell!! I'm so sorry you're going through this and I hope this latest offer is THE ONE!! If not, just go buy a bottle of wine and convince yourself it doesn't matter! :)
Fingers crossed!!
Jeannine @ The Concrete Cottage

Janelle said...

Glad there is another offer. I hope it is a good one. And for the record, the house is sooo nice. You have done a great job.

Samantha said...

Alls you need to know about anything in life is that people are weaklings.

Not you, you are a strongling :) x

Heather said...

I completely hear you. We are in the process of selling as well, and this time of year is terrible. Our real estate agent told us that only 8% of the people can imagine what a house will look like with their stuff in it, as evidenced by comments like, the family room isn't large enough (even though it fits a sectional and a huge coffee table and tv). Your house is beautiful, and hopefully you have a good agent working it and this offer will be solid!!

WhettenWild said...

I think this one is gong to go smoothly!!!

Jean @ www.thebackyardbungalow.com said...

I can totally relate. Our other home is in GA. When we tried to sell it, it was on the market for a year and no bites after we had put $20,000.00 in new flooring, paint, faucets, sinks, hardware...right down to the hinges on the doors! And it's in an amazing neighborhood on a great lot near the end of a cul-de-sac. We haven't even TRIED to sell it in 3 years 'cuz it just wouldn't help. Now we just rent it. At least you have people interested in it. I think people know it's a buyer's market and want a house for a steal these days. Sigh.I would love to dump our house in GA.

GustoBones said...

Hopefully in a few shorts weeks this will all be over and we'll have nice new neighbors. Hang in there and call me if you ever want to complain.

Mommybreath said...

We just did the same crap. The house took 7 months to renovate then sat on the market while one jack hole after another offered pithy comments on the improvements. Then we decided to rent it out. Moral of the story... making a little money every month, still have two huge tax deductions, and I don't have to look at the damn place ever if I don't want to. Sending possitive thoughts your way. Have you consulted St. Joseph? That's what it came to for us. :(

Jen said...

Goooood luck! I hope all goes well. 3rd time's a charm, right? :) Can't wait to hear how it goes!

Ashlee said...

Yep we just sold our house after 2 1/2 years! Installed carpet and such. Finally got an offer to go through....and UPS lost the papers. We had to wait another week but that put us into anothermonth worth of fees and interest but ITS FINALLY SOLD!!!

Spencer & Lorilyn Crum said...

Ugh what a drag I'll be praying you sell it :)

Emily said...

I'm sure this offer will go through! How could it not. You have done an awesome job with that house!