Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Let's Get Physical.

If you follow me on Pinterest,
 
then you know I love a good e-card.  Some people are so hilarious.  But not you people who make nasty e-cards.  Stop with the nasty e-cards, you dirty perverts!
 
Anyhow,
 
I really love this e-card.

Source: 5pwn.com via Molly on Pinterest

I also find this one especially amusing.
 
 

This one, too. 



Perhaps it's because I relate to these.

So, do you, like, have this set weight you just know you're at?  You step on the scale, and you know, give or take a couple pounds, what it's going to say?

I had that, up until the last couple weeks.  Now, no matter what I do--- weigh in with an empty stomach, slide the the scale around and try it in a different spot on the floor, in za nude--

it still says that dreaded, higher number. 

And you know what that higher number does to your psyche, right?  Your clothes feel tighter, even if they're not, you're pinching for fat everywhere, you're talking yourself out of donuts, etcetera, etcetera.

 



So, while I'm scooting the scale around my bathroom floor, whimpering "Lies, LIES!", everyone around me is running a half marathon.  Or doing a triathalon. 

My whole life, the thing I always said, was "I'm just not a runner."  I'm just not.  I don't know how y'all are doing this. 
I'll tell you one thing, though: I love reading people's posts about getting fit.  It fascinates me.  My sister is a fitness and health guru, and I love listening to her talk.  While I sit on the couch and eat a bag of Doritos.

Incidentally,

if you run the Bear Lake half-marathons that grace the beginning and end of summer, that thing runs right past my parent's lake house.  You get all up in their front yard.  No joke.

So we had to do this.




 

We didn't drive with them or anything-- we just turned up "Eye of the Tiger" and the Olympics theme and yelled encouraging words from the front porch while we cooked pancakes and bacon.  With a side of sausage.

"Stay strong!  Stay clean!"

 I don't even know what that means.  But I thought the whole event was awesome.

I have a point, here:

I'm never going to run a half-marathon.  Like, ever.  But I need to make a little more effort.  My "exercising"?  You can't see that I'm doing that with huge, exaggerated air quotes right now.  I'm going to go "Exercise".  It's one step up from the PBS chair "exercise" lady.  It usually consists of me watching a show and taking a break from the show to do a couple stomach crunches here and there.

My resting heart rate?  Holy crap.  Every time I check at the machine thingy at the store, it's like 90 bpm.  Every time Jeffro listens to my heart he comments on it.  At least my blood pressure is good, okay?  Gosh.

I'm not saying I'm the world's most out of shape person.  I'm just saying I might be the world's most out of shape person under 70, that's all.

I'm getting serious, here--


I even bought good running shoes. I've never owned good running shoes. Even when I needed good shoes in high school. Even then, I bought shoes one size too small and squished my feet in them because they matched "like, the school colors!  I know, right?!"

Sometimes I wish for a childhood do-over.


And I bought this shirt:



and I'm too embarrassed to wear it. Girls like me who can't make it around the block with a very slow jog shouldn't wear shirts with a swoosh on it. I have to earn this shirt. I'm going to try.

So, do you like to run?  Really?  Don't lie to me!  I have a pretty good B.S. meter.  What's your secret? And if I buy an iPod, will it magically help me run under a 10 minute mile? I think it will.

46 comments:

Janelle said...

I must say it again: You are so funny. I love your comments about life. It makes my day.

Brittney said...

I hate running, always have. I didn't even run the mile in high school. I would always stop halfway and walk for a little bit. I started the Couch to 5k program this spring because my scale was lying to me too and it's been fabulous. I have run two 5k races now and have another one coming up. It's not easy and I still have to give myself a verbal pep talk every time I head out the door to run. "You will be fat if you don't do this...You will never fit in that shirt you love again...if you run for 10 extra minutes you can buy yourself a doughnut today..." Ya know, the normal motivating stuff. Couch to 5k program worked great for me, seriously. Google it.

Alissa said...

I was exactly where you are a year and a half ago. It sucked. I would get winded while vacuuming. So lame. So, we joined the Y. I realize that's not an option in UT. But maybe find a gym that offers zumba...it was my gateway drug. A year later and I finished my first triathlon a couple Weeks ago. It was no Ironman but it felt great.

Layne Bushell said...

Go Mandi! you can do it. If you hate running, DON'T do it! Just walk. Walk super duper fast. It's almost the same. I should know. I "run" with big air quotes and you could walk faster than I can run... I promise. But I like it, so I do it. So do something you like because then you'll continue to do it consistently!

Believe me, if I was thin like you, I wouldn't have to like running either. But I'm not, so I have to force myself to do it. And I'm stuck too....the higher number isn't going down any time soon. {insert swear word here}

Mel@Mellywood's Mansion said...

My favourite e card is one that basically says if I was ever in the hunger games I'd be the first to die. 5 kids ago I was hot now I'm not, last two saw a big weight gain, which should motivate me but just depresses me into that "cycle". I really want to make sure I get it off before my 40th a few years away but still that's the goal. There is other exercise, let us know if you find one you like, I do like pump classes and body combat, heaps more fun than running

Bethany @ A Fish Who Likes Flowers said...

I have to give you major kudos for taking up running/jogging. I hate it! Although I was told by my friend that was on the track team that one of the coaches saw me attempting to run once and said that I should never be on the track team. That's ok, I was on swim team instead. So kudos to you, and let me know when you earn that shirt!

San @ Made in Hem said...

I've tried it too, it's not my thing... And I wonder how you're going to do it because after 4 kids and getting closer to 40 every day I wet my pants when I run... And I read those blogs and see them all run for miles and wonder what's wrong with me? I went to my doctor but he said it was not that weird after 4 kids and I just shouldn't run. Why doesn't anyone ever talk about that problem? It's me, right? But it does give me a good excuse not to run! :) But I want, deep down, and maybe one of your running readers is able to help me out?
Good luck, you can do it!!!

cathgrace said...

I'm not a runner, in fact up until last summer I had never run a mile in my entire 31 years of life (I got my mom to write me a note in middle school and just never had P.E. again) and I ALWAYS just told myself I don't run (crappy knees) anyway, last summer I packed up my kids and followed my husband to Alabama for military training (6 weeks in a tiny roach infested hotel room with my 2 kids, I pretty much almost died) and for some reason unbeknownst to me, I got a bee in my bonnet that by the end of the 6 weeks I was going to be able to run a WHOLE mile without stopping at all. My husband and I went running 5 nights a week, and amazingly I was able to meet my goal within the first 3 weeks (I know that is probably pretty laughably slow to anyone who is a runner) and was up to 3 miles a night by the time we went home. It never got fun, it never got easy, and I was always sucking wind, but I was SO proud of myself. This spring I set a goal of running a 10K, it was never easy, never fun, and the training always sucked. I almost cried twice while running the 10K - but we finished it 20 minutes faster then my best goal, and I was so PROUD! So running is not easy for me, but I think that's what I like about it, I like that it is so hard for me, and that I have the fortitude to do it anyway, it makes me feel so much more dedicated then I feel about things that come easily to me.

Mrs BC said...

I'm not a runner, but I am a walker. About 20-30 kms a week, along the ocean. It's like moving meditation, I get edgy if I go without it. I know a lot of non-runners who become happy runners on the 'couch to 5k program'. THey seem to start with treadmills, so I guess that would save the embarrassment factor? Good luck with it :)
xx

Tricia said...

This is so funny! I had this same thought the other day - everyone I know is doing Couch to 5K. These are all chubby people & they're running a 5K! I thought I'd try, & figured my 9yo would be a good partner & he'd be at my speed. I was all ambitious & decided to start at week 4. I was dying running 1 lap of the track. My kid ran 2.5 miles without stopping, not breaking a sweat. Sheesh.

Robbin Thomas said...

I totally understand, I too have never been a runner. But getting older (47...ugh) and overweight, I knew I had to do something. I too did the couch to 5K program, loved it, hated it, then loved it and have now ran 4 5Ks this year-including a mud run when I turned 48, and have joined the gym and am doing Boot Camp. I have lost 20 pounds! The battle and head games never stop, but I try everyday to move more and eat clean. Good luck, love your blog, thanks for always making me laugh!

Lyndsey said...

I'm not a "runner" either. But, I have three kids so I run to get away! ;)

I run with Ms. Gaga. She's got a good beat. I pretend I'm in my 20's again. Clubbin' it. So what if it's 8 pm and dusk in my neighborhood...I'm looking hot, yo.

Karen said...

I want to exercise, truly. I spent waaay too much money on the hip hop abs because I also really want to dance. The problem is I hate to exercise and I dance like a white girl...a republican white girl...having a stroke on the way to the country club. Luke Bryant wants me to shake it for him but then he would have to write a new song called "dang girl please just sit down". Lucky for me, my hubs goes to work every day and Luke doesn't have a dance cam in my bedroom so I will keep "shakin" along.
So my long rambling point is- you can do this, girl! Just do it for yourself and on your terms. Use an ipod or have someone in a clown mask chase ya 'round the neighborhood. Just have fun with it!

julie - eab designs said...

I laughed out loud at some of those e-cards. I hate running. I used to play basketball and would run up and down the court throughout the whole game. But running for the sake of running... never! I once was at a party when I heard someone talking about running and I remarked "if you ever see me running it's only because someone must be chasing me". No one laughed when I said it, turns out 90% of the guests were serious triathletes!

MariaT said...

I can now say I am a runner! I use to absolutely hate it though. Seriously I wanted to run enjoy it and every time I'd try I'd jog for like 2 minutes and walk for like 20 then jog another 2. I'm not overweight or have any condition or reason I couldn't do it other than it was boring. So boring. And then one day I wanted to do it for me. Not to lose weight or impress anyone but for me. So I started doing a little less than half a mile at a time and worked up to 3-5 miles. And it still sucks most of the time, especially the first 10 minutes until your body kind of gives in. And now I look forward to a quiet, peaceful run outside. Not on a treadmill those are boring as shit even if you have netflix or eye of the tiger right there. Good luck! And I recommend this book and these shoes: http://traderfam.blogspot.com/2012/08/book-review-vibram-review.html

alesa said...

Awesome post. I am not a runner either, yet I am running some half marathons this year. I feel like such an imposter. I do enjoy it and it make me get out of my own head. Start with the Couch to 5k program. Start at week 1 and take it easy. Sign up for a 5k. They are really fun, even if you are slow. I know because I am slow. Keep us posted on your journey and show us a picture when you have earned your shirt.

C Lysager said...

My new motto is, I run because I can!! Less than a year ago, I weighed over 300lbs and decided it was time to finally REALLY do something about it. One of the things that really got me going was running. A friend of mine asked if I wanted to do a 5K with her so I figured sure why not, that will give me something to work towards. The first time I got on the treadmill it took me 30 minutes just to walk a mile. The first time I tried running, I ran for one minute and got off the treadmill and puked (no lie). I started the couch to 5K program and by the time my 5K came around I was 70 lbs lighter and was able to run the whole race. It was the most amazing feeling to cross the finish line and say I did it!! I have now run 3 5K's and look forward to bumping it up to 10K's or maybe even a half marathon eventually. I never ever thought I would be able to run but I have learned that running really gives me a sense of accomplishment and something to work towards. So I say, if I can do it, you can do it. Go for it!!

Carrie G said...

Couch to 5K worked for me. I ran my first (and only) 5K on my 39th birthday. Then I blew out my knee and got fat again. But that's a whole 'nother story.

There are a bunch of podcasts on iTunes for the couch to 5K. They really were great. It was like having a coach in my ear. They play running music and support you, tell you how many more seconds to run, then to walk. I would highly suggest a podcast. Try a couple, there was on guy that put me to sleep...

Veronica said...

I love the Eye of the Tiger story and I LOVE to run! The right music definitely helps me, though I get in an even better run if I can watch a good, high tempo basketball game while I run. I love my treadmill during March Madness! And just for the record, I always have more admiration for the "runners" I see struggling when I'm out driving than the ones who obviously do it every day. Go ahead and wear that swoosh!

Cindy Lyles said...

What cracks me up is my Pinterest board, with all these motivational-type exercise go-get-em boards, next to the fudge/brownie/apple pie omg that looks like a heart-attack fried chicken recipes...

I recommend to start walking and not run off the bat - take some weight off so you don't injure your knees/joints. I was at 200 lbs (I'm 5'7") and took off 40 lbs by walking before I even thought about running.

Be prepared to lose your boobs. I went from a C cup to an A. I thank providence my husband is not a boob man or I'd need implants. Seriously - Vicky's padded bras are a godsend.

Yes an ipod will make you want to stay on the treadmill (or do another 1.3 mile lap around the neighborhood) longer. Get one.

Just load decent songs. ;) i-tunes will sort by BPM - some songs are meant for running, some for walking.

Puking: I STILL puke (or will feel like it) if I eat before I run. That or I'll burp whatever the heck I ate the whole time I'm running or walking. So I don't eat before I run - even if that means my first meal is at 2pm - kids on bus, gym, steam room, shower, errands, home - yeppers it's two o'clock in the friggin afternoon.

Sure some 'educated' folks (the same folks years ago that said 'hey, margarine is good for you! Don't eat butter!' will say 'eat breakfast! if you don't your body will go into starvation mode and you'll burn fewer calories!' Got news for you - I lost 65 pounds doing it this way, and am back to BELOW the weight I was before I had kids, which is a size two-four (US size). Been this light for four years now. It can be done - just do it YOUR way.

Recommend getting a heart rate monitor - it's a band that goes around your rib cage and a watch will read the output. You'll know when you're taking it easy and need to pick it up, and when you need to slow it down or you'll die.

Get the Doritos out of the house. See those women that look fabulous? They don't eat Doritos. AND, what they won't tell you, is that they have managed to learn how to handle feeling hungry, and when they are, they eat healthy food, and eat it slowly. Yeppers, that's the stuff no one wants to discuss.

So you don't feel 'good enough' to wear the shirt? Have a goal in mind, and when you hit that goal...get that shirt on. YOU CAN DO IT!

Joanna said...

I always said, "I'm not a runner." And then I figured I'd better try since those pounds were NOT coming off. I learned that I'm still not a runner. I hate how it makes me feel, and I realized something: running gives me asthma. Bad. So I don't run anymore. Now I ride a bike. Yep, with the padded but spandex and all. I love it. Sure, I usually do it all alone in my garage on a spinner bike with my ears plugged into some trashy show on Netflix, but it's what works for me. And I look a little better. Or a lot, depending on who is looking. Plus I feel better. The point is that you find what works for you. Is that a dance party every afternoon? Who cares? Dance parties are fun.
P.S. I don't think you could look bad if you tried.

Marcy said...

I used to hate running also, and even now that I enjoy running, my definition varies from the 5k-ers.

I run intervals (20 seconds on, 45 seconds off - or longer - I like to catch my breath). I have a timer on my phone with a whistle and a buzzer. My workout is over in 4 minutes.

Now, on walks with the dog, I run voluntarily. I actually feel like running.

If I'd forced myself to run longer distances, I never would have stuck with it. The best workout is the one you enjoy.

For the lady having issues with running & leaking after 4 kids, try Kegel exercises. Surprised your doctor didn't recommend them.

Also, ladies: running isn't the best way to lose weight. Too much cardio leads to too much eating. Lift some weights!

Rose Family said...

I am addicted to your blog. I use to read a lot of crafter blogs but now I just read yours. A million times I have thought about commenting but never have...other people's hilarious comments have inspired me to not be so lazy this time.

Do try the couch to 5k. I have tried it twice...don't be discouraged by my results...I have terrible shin splints but I'm not detered...I'm just going to go spend a fortune on good shoes and hopes that helps. I get up to week 3 and then my shins hurt too bad. When I started I could barely run the full 1 minute but it progresses at a doable pace and keeps me on track.

Just to clarify - when I said run I meant jog...pretty slowly actually. And when I said couch 2 5k I meant the bobo version that is free the entire 8 weeks...has a breast cancer ribbon on the logo.

Good Luck!

Kimberly Pearlman said...

I'm definitely NOT a fan of running. More for the fact that I can't do it. I have GINORMOUS boobs & even strapped/tapped/tied/bolted/squished down as much as they possibly can be is never enough for these tatas. Running is not a possibility. So I ride a bike & walk. :)

Sarakenobi said...

i started doing C25K 2 years ago and I ran a 10k and won. no I am totally kidding. well I won, but it was an accident.
I have always loved sports even though I am not particularly great at them. I started running because everyone else is doing it and they love it so why not? it sucked. I mean, really sucked, adn then suddenly I liked it? I think after running for 30 minutes it doesn't feel like youare going to die anymore and kind of like you could go for a long time. and I lost a lot of weight. I signed up for a 10k with a super athletic friend. The same race had a 5k component. The morning of the race I stepped on a nail and punctured my heel - so walking on it hurt. I ended up running the 5k and then when I finished I remembered that I had a chip. I had folded the number up in my pocket but someone noticed and said "wow! congratulations! you won the women's 10k!" I started dying of LOL "Do I LOOK like I could win a 10k????" and he made a noncommittal noise in his throat and I went to tell the judges that I was a big 'ole cheater. BUt that is the story of how I won my first race. And you know, I really do still like running. It's kind of a shock, but I do. I don't think I'd like to do a marathon or I'll ever want to be competitive about it, but I do like it.

amy said...

i hate, hate, hate running! my husband was a marathoner then (after 7 years of hard training/races) he had double hip reconstruction. so i am a bit tainted.

with that said... i run 6 miles a week (for the last 4 weeks). 2 miles 3 days/week. i dislike every step but it is building endurance- of which i need! hopefully I will run farther/longer soon and I will learn to at least like it. maybe a 5k?! who knows...

you go girl!

Ruth H. said...

Hahahahaha about the PBS lady! My mom did that workout every morning for YEARS, I am telling you, years. I grew up hearing that piano music and watching my mom lift up, down, around. Mom was bitterly disappointed when the Exercise Lady stopped showing up for the morning routine, but Mom kept right on going. She still works out every morning. Now, why can't I have that kind of discipline?

I have a love/hate relationship with running. I hate actually running, but I love saying stuff like, "I ran 5 miles today." It's that need for attention and affirmation that powered me thru 2 half marathons, NOT because I was getting some kind of runner's high. (Haven't experienced it yet.) One thing I can say is that you definitely need to have the right shoes. If you are really serious about starting to run, go get shoes at a place that will watch you run a big around the store and then make recommendations for shoes based on what they see. It will make a huge difference in how you feel from the get-go if you have the right shoes.

Kimbo West said...

holy crap those are long comments. i hate running...i do it cause my husband looks at me naked....with a weird look on his face... so i do it. kinda. i walk/run/walk/run. and i have a freakin awesome playlist that makes me want to keep going just so i can stay away from my kids...i mean cause i want to keep listening.

and my husband bought me cleats when i subbed in his softball games. and i made him take them back.

cause i don't want to be all dressed like a pro..then get up and strike out.

so i totally agree with the shirt sentiment...you don't want to be all swooshy and sweatband and look like a marathony person....than run like phoebe.....

Brown-Eyed Girl said...

You don't have to run. No way.

Pick up a deep water aerobics class at the pool. I just started and i may be the youngest by 30 years, but that makes me feel even better! And all the little ladies are so nice!

I also started a zumba class. LOVE it!

No need to run if you've got another alley.

Maureen said...

Mandi,

Why run? Walking burns the same amount of calories; it just takes longer. And just FYI, I love you and your blog no matter what your weight. Yes, I am toasting you with a Dorito!

Maureen

ikylilcrafter said...

i HATE running, but i do it. I do it horribly, slowly, and in the most ugly way imaginable. I have to talk myself into it every time. (And sometimes I don't succeed.) I hate every last flipping boob beating step of it. But after I'm finished. I feel like a complete bada$$. I'm the annoying girl on Facebook that always posts her workout via cardiotrainer. And I'm not gonna lie, when I actually succeed at getting my butt out of bed and running before work, I PROUDLY post that workout (timestamped) on Facebook and someone pretty much always comments on how awesome i am for doing it. So, i guess that means I run for the attention?

Rebecca D said...

Girl, there is an "S" inside that tee shirt... Girlfriend, eat that doughnut, try on the tee shirt once a week and start running when you no longer fir into that tee shirt! :)

Evelyn said...

I have tried to like running. I really, truly have. I have trained for a marathon (fractured my foot doing that one). I have trained for a half-marathon (didn't make it past the 5-mile mark before pulling my hamstring). I really, really want to enjoy running. But I hate it. I HATE IT. My new goal is to run a mile once a week. Maybe I won't hate that. Seriously.

Lisa at Shine Your Light said...

I despise running. Please run a 5K so I can live vicariously through you! I am supposed to run a husband & wife 5K on the Cape next August and am already dry heaving at the thought. Doesn't all that work you do around your house count towards working out?????

CMY said...

Seeing as how I live with a runner (who loves it and has a hard time imagining anyone not feeling the same) it's refreshing to see that I'm not alone here.. although as the only dude commenting on this blog post I might be.

My advice? Trick yourself into accomplishing something during the run, even if it's something stupid like depositing a check. I cycle (sometimes 40 milers if the mood strikes) but it's always with the idea of going or seeing somewhere/thing else, the exercise is just a benefit.


GustoBones said...

Running stinks. Even though I am better at it than I was a year ago, it still stinks. I run slow, most people could probably walk fast and stay up with me:). I say start with something you enjoy, fast walking or zumba, cycling, stairs, step aerobics etc. Build up your cardio endurance. You can also do this by a great combination of running and walking. My sister who hasn't run for years has been doing the galloway method and she is running a half marathon in Oct. I haven't gone on a run for literally 4 weeks(worked out, but not run). Thanks for the inspiration!!! You can it!!

The Hammers said...

I don't always commment on your posts, but I read every dang one. Know why? Cause they're funny, that's why!

Okay, the running thing. I never ran in H.S., then a few years ago, I was fat and lazy, and my hubby was...not fat and lazy. I decided I better lose some fat and lazy, so I decided to run a mile with a friend. Eventually, my mile turned into a 1/2 marathon. And then another, and so on...

What I'm saying is this: Buy an ipod, and buy the Nike+ sensor for it. You can get it at Best Buy or a sporting goods store, or at Nike.com. It's not too expensive, like 20 or 30 bucks, and you too will be running faster and farther, just to hear Tiger Woods or Lance Armstrong tell you good job! Do it! It's worth all the money in the world to feel better, and you will earn that Nike shirt in no time!

Libby said...

I don't run...I cycle-I prefer to go further. Ironically cycling is easier on the knees and my knee cap is sliding over because my thigh muscle is tight on one side so I'm off of the bicycle 'til I get my ligaments, tendons etc. balanced. Then the snow will come and I'll have to find something else.
Good luck with your running!

Lanna said...

I wouldn't call myself a runner, but I've done 3 full marathons and 6 half marathons. I walk and run. I try not to care about my time, or the fact that 80 year old ladies are passing me. :D I run and raise money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I run in memory of my cousin Nate who died of leukemia in 2001, and that's what keeps me going. I think that's the key, you need to find what motivates you to get out there and do it. If earning your Nike shirt is what motivates you, then go for it. :D You're awesome!! Thanks for making me smile every day.

RainyDaisy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spencer & Lorilyn Crum said...

I HATE running, like seriously every time I run (well I haven't for the past 9 months but before that) it would feel like a 300 lb man was sitting on my chest compressing my lungs. This is all very ironic since I was a college athlete and running was a big part of that. Anyway, even though I hate it I force myself to do it, but top out at 3 miles max, just because after that I get extremely bored. And don't worry, my miles are usually 10-11 minutes, but I figure as long as I keep going, I'm getting some sort of work out. Probably after the baby comes I'll switch more to lifting again as opposed to running so everything firms up again. I wish we could be work out buddies.

Makenzie said...

Hola! I don't know you nor have I ever read your blog before (ok fine, I am addicted now, whatever). My sister sent me a link to this post because she and I are always calling each other in frustration about running.

Listen, I totally totally totally get it. I am not a runner either, and I want to be. So so badly! Everyone (and I mean all six siblings + my Mom who is almost 60) in my family runs and not only that, but they are good at it! For a long time, I felt like a freakin outsider. They all had running stuff to talk about and not only did I not, but I didn't want to. Who enjoys running? It is hard. It hurts my legs and my chest and I can't breathe and I wanna throw up and ps it is usually cold outside and no. I was not (still am not) a runner.

But I signed up for a 5k race and decided I needed to be ready. I started slow. And I mean sllooooowwww. For all those people that are runners, they would think it was laughable how long it took me to go a mile. I worked my way up and eventually did a 5k and 10k this summer in the same week. Then I got two stress fractures and was in a boot all summer and have just gotten out of it so I am starting all over again with my running, which totally sucks.

This is what I have found to be most important and most valuable in my running though. Do not, EVER, compare yourself to anyone else. Not in your pace (who cares if it is a 15 minute mile or a 6 minute mile? it is a mile!), not in your weight, your running clothes, how often you run, the distance of your run, your brand of running shoes, etc. Because that will make you feel sucky. At least it makes me feel sucky. There will always be people who will be faster than you and have fancier running gear and place in all the races, etc. And if you wanna eat a bag of Doritos, eat a frickin bag of Doritos. It is not going to kill you and sometimes you just gotta indulge.

Am I sounding a little crazy? I feel like I might be. Especially since I don't know you. Creepy...

Anyway, I would have to agree with all the commenters that say to try the Couch to 5k program. It starts out slow and if it is still too much or too fast for you, adjust it. I know in a world of everybodyrunshalfmarathons you might feel like an idiot who can't accomplish anything (I know these feelings from personal experience) but remember that everyone has to start somewhere. And also that running is hard and some people are just inherently good at it. Oh and also remember that even though it might feel like "runners" (who defines a runner anyway?) are judging you for being slow or only going a mile, they aren't. They want you to succeed just like everyone else.

So start slow. Work your way up. It takes time, a lot of time. And you will probably get frustrated and call your sister in tears (that has NEVER happened to me) but you are working towards something that is really hard and only you will truly understand the progress you have made. Even if that means running a mile without stopping. Progress is progress and it feels awesome!

Good luck!

Makenzie said...

Holy cow that was a hideously long comment I just left. Sorry!

TaraSayWhat? said...

I'm not a runner. AT ALL. But I DID do the Couch 2 5K iphone app this spring/summer. I run slowly, but I can do it. I ran my first 5K in May, and have done 7 more since then. Now I'm training for a half marathon. Mind you, I'll never get there. There is just no way that I will ever get that far. But it's fun to say, "I'm training for a half marathon." I wonder how long that line will last. Will people starting calling my bluff after a year? 3 years? Hmm...

Leslie@leserleeslovesandhobbies said...

Duuuuuuuuude, I hate running too. My friends run, even if they hate it. But me, no thanks. I'm just not cut out for running. I'm the slow job kind of person too. Also they kind of person that would blast Eye of the Tiger. I did some "running" in college, to spend time with my friend/boyfriend/ex-boyfriend (let's just say we were stuck on each other for a long time, but now happily married to other people), but even then, running wasn't that much fun. It makes me breath all funny, and get side cramps, and sweat. Yeah, no thanks. I prefer sitting on my couch and read your blog instead.

Madeleine Groves said...

I love you. Can I marry you? We can just trade, our hubs can keep each other I'll keep you. We can visit on weekends. But, really, in a non-creepy-don't-look-out-your-window-right-now kind of way: you are freaking spectacular. I hate running, my ipod did not help. I'm not saying the whole number, but there's a 2 in my scale number and it is NOT at the end. My butt and my swivel chair are too close, I need to separate them before I hear wedding bells. Please keep up the progress on your running to motivate others, people who love the words that spill from your face.