Monday, August 6, 2012

THE CLIFFS OF INSANITY.

("Move the thing!  And. . . that other thing!")

I do this every so often-- you know, the Mommy Meltdown thing I do.  Is it, like, quarterly that I have a freakout?  Let's say quarterly.

I've gone cuckoo kachoo.  But before you judge me,



please know that I am the nicest mom, ever.  'Cept I'm not.  But I am.  Sorta.  I can be really nice. I am nice.  Until you cross me.  It's all roses and lollipops, until Thing 3 whines that he needs "a glass of meee-wk" for the eight thousandth time.
And then it's suddenly, "How would you like a nice warm glass of shut the heck up?"

And then everyone's like, "Ruh-roh-- mom's gone crazy again."

I don't know what brings this on.  Oh wait, yes I do.  I'm sure the back ache from all that manual labor the last few days has something to do with it.  It's about all that bum wiping, or perhaps I've made one too many boxes of macaroni and cheese and then snapped. 

And it certainly has something to do with the hubs having worked an insane amount of hours this entire summer and I'm on like week 8 of:  haven't left the house, talked to an adult about once a week/who are all these kids in my house?  I'm pretty sure I only birthed 4 but I'm counting 10 and why is there a trail of toilet paper down the hall, da$#it!.

And, you know, this has nothing to do with it.  I hate two year olds.



(The quality of this shot matches the quality of my mood.  Crappy.)

And then suddenly, people are coming to tell you that they caught your seven year old trying to dip his freaking cotton candy in the chocolate fountain at Golden Corral, for crying out loud. 

And then you realize, that although laundry's going in the washer and out of the dryer,  that nothing's actually getting put away.  And that's why the boys are wearing a jammie top with a pair of mismatched striped shorts.

And before you know it, bam-- you've locked yourself in the bathroom, and you're sitting on the can watching Netflix on the iPad on your lap.  ("Somebody's in here!")

Happens to everyone from time to time. 
I hope. 

So why am I sharing this?  Oh, ya know.  I find it cleansing.  Helps me move on. 'N stop waving my gun in the air.  Swing the battle axe over my head, and so forth.

I promised not to show this picture outside of the family.


My bad. (Shhhh. He called himself "Weirdo Crazy Super Hero").

Man, I'm feeling better, already. Thanks for listening. Let's go make some cookies, kids.  Maybe we'll even bake some of the dough. 

18 comments:

Janice said...

I am so there with you. Lately my 3 year old has been dealing with constipation. And I know I've sounded insane when I've been dealing with her. But dang it, I need some sort of poop-grabber-outer machine so I can get on with my life and we can GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM. I am SO sick of poop. Or lack thereof.

Not that it's getting on my nerves at all.

Jessie K said...

Let's go crazy together!!! Hubby is now working in the oil fields and leaves me with 3 kiddos for weeks on end with no clear idea of when he'll be home again!!! It's not his fault, but it sure drives me crazy!!!

Sharon said...

Thanks for the giggle! And, if it makes you feel any better, my 23 year old just said to me yesterday "oh, here you go again....a freak out! Every few months it happens like clockwork.". So, you are not alone and most days i am a nice mom too!

Emily said...

You are not alone! We all freak out! It's good for the soul. Ü

Lisa at Shine Your Light said...

You are too funny! I love how you always have your camera at the ready to capture real life! The little munchkin lying facedown in her pink dress? Oh man that one brings back some sweet memories. How about the crazy scary laugh that makes everyone else run for the hills because they know mom's losing it - do you do that one? My kids are TERRIFIED when they hear the crazy laugh….everyone stops dead in their tracks and gives me the big eyes!

Mom On A Budget said...

I 100% agree with you -- we do so much as mom's, and sometimes we just need to scream! I'm glad that I'm not the only one who gets annoyed with "mom-mom-mom-mom-mom" ALL.DAY.LONG. Hang in there!

SueAnn Lommler said...

How about you hire a babysitter and hide out in the garage!!??
It's a thought
Hugs
SUeAnn

Evelyn said...

YES, it happens to everyone...or at least to me! I freak out in cycles too, and then everyone thinks I'm a mean mom and I feel guilty for having lost my sanity and then I feel indignant and think "I deserve a little respect too!" and then I see how everyone is avoiding me and I feel guilty again and vow to do better...until the next freak out, anyway.

I hope it gets better for the rest of the summer!

Layne Bushell said...

I think it's called Summer. It does it to me every year. I long for it and then hate it and love it all at the same time. you need a break. Can I give you one? I'm gonna take your kiddos for an afternoon so you can watch netflix all day long without being asked for a glass of meeewk. :)

Carol Ann said...

Having grown children, I look back on those crazy days of hair-pulling with laughter instead of tears, thank goodness. But seeing your son with the smiley-face stickers on his body reminded me of the time my 3 yr old son stuck a "Hello--My Name is...." nametag on his wee-wee. I'm pretty sure the ER doctor is still laughing at that one.

Hang in there!

Maureen said...

Mandi,

Every Mother deserves a melt down. It is her right from conception of said child. I wish we lived closer because I would take the kids for you for the day or more and give you a break. You wouldn't even have to watch Netflix in the bathroom. Just remember Tracy Adkins' song "You're Gonna Miss This." because it will apply to you ONE day. Just not today! :)

Maureen

Libby said...

Flashback time...thanks for letting me know that SAHM's are still having coocoo banana days. (I guess I didn't use up all the coocoo banana karma when I was a SAHM with 3 little ones and hubby who worked insane hours)

Sounds like Jeffo is having a crappy summer also.

Hope you take up a friend on the time out offer. Wish I did.

Kerrye said...

I am SO right there with you! Luckily for me school starts tomorrow... but then again that means summer is over and that makes me mad too. ('specially since it's still triple-digits here) Did I mention that I've decided the tens are the terrible-twos dirty little secret cousin?

Trina said...

I feel completely the same way as you and I am so glad that you were brave enough to share it. I have 2 boys (6 and 4) and my husband has been gone 3 days and 4 nights a week for work all summer. It is tough! It is crazy! And sometimes I want to pack my bags and leave, never look back. But then there is a moment of calm and I get a "You're beautiful, mommy" and darn it...I get sucked back in. A vicious cycle I tell ya!

Thanks for making me feel not alone!

Trina @afewmineradjustments.blogspot.com

kimberwidmer.com said...

I found you via a pin… I always go back and pin from the source. But it can get time consuming that way because I end up reading the blog… like a lot. And yours, girl, is HILARIOUS. I want to be your neighbor {except for the days when you're feeling kind of postal}.

Kristina said...

I am stumbling upon your blog during one of my freak-outs. I also have 4 children. #2 was being silly and pulled over the bathroom cabinet, emptying all its contents onto the floor. After assessing that only his ego was hurt, I proceeded to go ape. As I take a time out, I feel the guilt of going nuts, but read through this post and feel so relieved I'm not alone. Your blog is hilarious. Thank you for making me feel "normal" (well, as normal as you can get with 4 kiddos) and bringing my blood pressure down during my time-out.

Deidre said...

Oh man Im so feelin your pain sister! Wait till your oldest is 14 and now your saddled with Satan! Muhahaha...then your 8 year old whines all day that hes bored and your oldest is wondering why we cant live in a mansion like her friends do and why Mom is always making junk? and why cant we buy new from Pier one or pottery barn?!1 WHEW!!Sorry I digress,lol Thats when a trip to the grocery store alone feels like a vacation!

transientzephyr said...

Hi Mandi. I just stumbled upon your blog, and I cannot stop reading! Thank you for being so real! I laughed out loud when I saw the photo of your daughter face down in protest of perceived parental injustice. We all have those days...and I only have one whose tantrum potential has not been fully realized yet (he is just over a year.) Thank you for sharing, and thank you for the laugh. I'm rooting for you!
-Christina