So, have you ever, like, had your kid come home from school (days in a row), and tell you they don't have a friend in the world?
That they're wandering the playground, solo?
If you haven't, I'll just share how I feel, if ya don't mind.
First: punched in the face.
Second: I'm reaching blindly for a cupcake every time I think about it. In vain.
Anywhoooo (wipes crumbs from lips),
I'd like to talk about food, today.
If ya don't mind. 'Cause I'm discovering, that I am that "comfort food" mom. That "greet the children with an after-school snack" mom.
(they're just Rhodes. Please don't expect more from me.)
I like to think it makes the house feel welcoming. I also like to think that it's penance for screaming at my kids to get out of bed and get their dang shoes on each morning.
I hate to think that it may have something to do with not being able to get my shorts up my knees this year.
Let's quickly move on from that last thought.
Maybe this is a good time to apologize.
Um, if you're allowing your child to play at our house, I'm pretty much hopping your kids up on sugary goofballs, and then sending them back to you. This is especially true on weekends, holidays, and days that I feel punched in the face.
Cupcakes, cookies, snow cones, eclairs, lemon bars, pies, cookies, cookies, cupcakes. . .
HOLY CRAP I AM SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR GIVING THE NEIGHBORS DIABETES. This must stop.
I like to think that I mix it up with some healthy stuff, too.
(The fruit parfaits, McD's style are a hit, by the by).
And these (thee, um, sprinkles are, um, vitamins. . .),
are a Pinterest FAIL. I hate you person who took pictures of your cookies raw and passed them off as perfectly shaped "cooked" cookies. "Cook" is part of cookies, don'tcha realize.
Kids still liked 'em. 'S all that matters.
But I could probably take corn syrup, roll it in a ball, and put it on a stick, and the kids would like it. So that's not saying much.
Perhaps you could get cavities just looking at these pictures. Let's move on from sugars. Yes, let's.
this meat is so savory, that you would sell your birthright for some.
And these Swedish meatballs are so good,
and they're also a "SkinnyTaste" recipe, and that's all the excuse you ever needed.
You know, I'm just gonna stop there. "I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M's and, like, 3 pieces of licorice. "
Seriously, though-- my after-dinner snack was somewhat similar to that. Now where's my cupcake.