Monday, March 19, 2012

Pimp My Garage.

I'm tired. I'm sore. And frankly, I'm a bit ornery.

And yet. . . I am absolutely overjoyed. In an ornery, tired kind of way.
(is that even possible?)

Wanna know what I've been up to for days straight, nonstop? Well, do ya? DO YA?

I fought the garage. And I won. I won't show you a before pic. I shan't. I can't. I won't!! Make me! I know you are but what am I? I don't make monkeys I just train 'em!

Sorry. I got that out of my system.

My gay-rage-- it was (keyword: was) that bad. If you're my neighbor, and you've driven past and seen it in all its glory for yourself. . . well then. . .

Just shut up about it!

I mean that in the nicest way possible, of course.

Allow me to give you the smallest snapshot.

Uh huh. This was after I had already started literally shoveling crap into my garbage.

I might just have one of the largest garages on the planet, and yet I had literally covered every square inch with sawdust/scraps.

I am still in shock and awe about all the crud I found in there. Wood, tools, car items, shrunken heads, and I think I counted like 287 screws on the floor.

I didn't really count, but there was like, a lot. Screws are expensive. Of course I picked them up and put them where they go.

Filled up my outside garbage 3 times. 3.

Good thing it was just garbage day + I double dipped and ran it over to the other side of the street all filled up.

Don't you judge me! This was a crisis situation!

I mean, behold my workbench!

It wasn't workable right now, hello.

So how did this all start? We-he-hell, let me tell you.

Daddy-o popped on over and took a mattress off my hands to take up to the house at the lake. Yes, a mattress set. In my garage. 'Cause nothing says "We're trashy!" more than a mattress in your garage.

and then. . . it just snowballed. I girded up my loins. I was all,

"Hmm. . . .I'm going to kind of clean up in this area and make more room for Jeffro to park. "

See, he calls parking any of our cars "threading the needle". It was that bad. When you've ran over a tricycle and a scooter, you might have probs.

Have I painted a mental picture here? It was like "Hoarders" crazy-insane edition in there.

And then, when I cleaned one area, I just kept going.

And going. And sweeping, and sweeping, and organizing. . .

And then, I was like, let's surprise the hubs before he gets home from his business trip, and maybe, just maybe. . .

I'll even get rid of THIS!

I can tell you what each and very mark on there is from. Really.

You know what I wanted? I wanted the hubs to drive home from the airport, and think he was in someone else's garage. I wanted him to flip out with excitement. I wanted this kind of reaction.

Except, you know, about the garage.

And so, on I worked.

I was like, living out there.

And now?

My miter saw, "Severus", has it's own space, free from clutter. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

And this is especially important, since I just thought of 5 more pants-wetting, exciting project ideas while I swept all weekend.

And so?

This became this.

And this became this.

And my husband loves me all the more.

And now? We can finally pimp out the garage. Everything shall have its place. Make it the ultimate workshop dream. Like the deathstar, it will be fully operational.


Suesan said...

Oh My-Lanta, Girl. You must be feeling better. If you have created such amazing projects with a trashed gay-rage, I can't even imagine what you will accomplish with a pimped out one! I've said it before and I'll say it again, You are Awesome!

Layne Bushell said...

Love the concrete stain. I wondered if you had done that the last time I drove by and ADMIRED your garage. It's awesome. Mine is just as trashy if not more so (before you pimped it). Way to go! Now maybe I can find the motivation!

Ruthie said...

I just loooove your blog! U make me laugh...gotta love the movie quotes. U inspire...I WILL be cleaning my garage today. And u teach...I now know we're trashy...we have a matress set in our garage too. Keep keeping it real and all the post coming : )

Kassi @ Truly Lovely said...

Your saw is named Severus!?! That is AWESOME!!! The garage looks good too, by the way! ;)

Lisa Scibilia said...

Oh my gosh this project must have been SO gratifying!! Between the big thingamajig that holds all your wood, and cleaning out the whole garage it seriously must be a dream Mandi-cave!

Emily said...

Ohh how nice! All you need now is a urinal in there. That is every guys dream. At least according to my husband. Ü

COTTAG3 said...

Nothing says trashy like an old kitchen sink sitting on the back porch...for a couple of months now. My Jeffro says he'll get rid of it but doesn't. Love the new garage. Come do mine. Bring Severus. We'll make it a party.

Janelle said...

I drove by today and saw your gay-rage door up and seriously thought, I am going home to check the blog and see what she is up to. Well, it turns out it was the gay-rage.

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

My husband would love you, Mandi! : ) He's been talking about painting our garage floor here in our new place. Not much chance of me making too much of a mess in this garage. He's got us parking our cars in it! Can you imagine? Cars! In a garage!

Whimsy-ma-blog said...

Severus made me laugh REALLY hard. And please come clean my garage.

Laura at Ms. Smartie Pants said...

good lord you wear me out just reading it! I have a space I can slither thru to get to the back of my garage, I just wish I could clean it but my hubby is a hoarder of sorts! He says isn't that what a garage is for, storing stuff, uh no!

Audra said...

Oh My Lanta is right! Heavens sake gurl, I am just in shock right now. Wow...Simply amazing and beautious.

Once again, you are my hero...but then any girl with a saw name Severus is definitely worthy of hero worship!

Spencer & Lorilyn Crum said...

Wow this looks great! I totally need to repaint my garage floor too since I have similar marks :) When it's nice outside, I just spray paint it in the grass because I figure I can just mow off the paint. Don't tell the EPA.

Tracy's Trinkets and Treasures said...

I meant to get my garage cleaned, but only got a little start on it. I am impressed with yours. That floor looks great. I bet your husband kept smiling even in his sleep.

Ashlee said...

Seriously, I love your blog! I laugh out loud every time! Garage looks awesome! Seriously, I wanna be friends!

Rach said...

The floor looks amazing! Jealous....

Janet said...

Your garage looks amazing!!! Love the floor!

Bethany @ A Fish Who Likes Flowers said...

Wow! That looks like a lot of work! Kuddos to you for such an awesome effort. I'm guessing your hubby's reaction wasn't quite what you wanted but I hope he was pretty surprised when he came home and saw what you'd been up to.

Ashlee @ I'm Topsy Turvy said...

oh how I wish I had a garage! can't wait to see the full Pimped out garage (in person??? ;)

Maureen said...


Where do you find the energy for all this? Are you hopped up on steroids? I wish I had one seventeenth of your get up and go. I bet once you have the entire house just the way you want and on that day you think "I'm done and I'm satisfied" you find out that you are moving.


P.S. Can you come to PA and roll me out of bed so that I can get some work done?

Laura @ Laura's Crafty Life said...

Amazing transformation! I have a hard time getting anything done if I have clutter and messes. I feel like I shouldn't be working on a new project that will probably make a mess when I already have such a big mess to deal with! But, I am weird like that. :) The floor looks especially nice.

Staci said...

I just did the same thing in our garage on Sunday...perfect timing after my hubby's St. Patty's day drunken fest the evening before :) I made my trip to Lowes and got all sorts of fun, cool, hangy uppy things to make it look organized. LOVE how it looks now!

Maybe now I'll tackle the garage floor! Looks awesome!

Teri said...

Ohhh, fantastic! Now you're all Bobbie the Builder AND Martha Stewart. Totally in awe over here. Also? Totally coming over for some double-dutch.

Billie said...

It looks great! But now you will feel really bad when you spray paint something on that pretty new floor. :)
I too need a little bit of your ambition! You are awesome!!

Attempting Aloha said...

Severus. Bahahahahahah


SueAnn said...

Wowzers!! It looks fabulous...I can see why your hubby is in heaven now.
So cool

Rebecca D said...

Ohhh... My turn... Seriously, come clean mine out next!!! :)

Maureen said...

Hey Mandi,

Has anyone told you that they love you today?