Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Big But.

I want you to know,


that we pretty much adore our lil girl.

(If ya play "Just Dance 3", then you might recognize "What Ya Waiting For"-- you know, "Tick tock tick tock. . . " ;)
Light of our life, apple of our eye,

and so forth and so on. (That's rolled sandpaper in her hand-- only in our house.)


Got her daddy wrapped around her little finger and everything.

But.

BUT.

This is where I complain. 2 year olds? So.sick.of.it. And she's not even my worst two year old. Not by miles.

I will have you know, that every time I try and be "fun" mom, my lil 2 year old daughter is there to sabatoge the event.


Sledding? Crying.

Bowling? Tantrum right in the bowling lane. Mini-golf? Disaster. Runs around, picks up everyone's golf balls, then gets upset when we tell her "no" and lays down smackdab in the middle of the green.

If my daughter were an employee of the government ("The gub-ment"-- name that show), she would be the director of funland security.

Yes, I'm telling you she's a fun-sucker. She poops on your parade.

And if I have to call my hubs one more time from a seriously screwed family "fun" outing, raving and ranting about how our little precious had a meltdown in the walkway at Chuck E. Cheese,

it's gonna get ug-lay down here. "Don't eff with the babysitter." (name that movie).

Pinky swear, I can't think of a thing I haven't dragged her out of, kicking and screaming. Not a thing that I haven't regretted going to. Grocery store, park, church, you name it-- I've got a crazed 2 year old on my hands.

Have I told ya the story about the meltdown at Neighborhood Walmart? The one where to get back at me, she stuck her hands down her poopy diaper so she could show me her poopoo-hands?

Oh, I haven't? Well, it's a goodie.

I love my daughter. I just think she should never step outside the house again until she's like, 16.

Ya know what? Instead of losing my mind, this is gonna be a game. A fun game. I'm gonna see if it really is possible for her to not ruin an outing.

Camera will go everywhere I go--

and this is how I see it:

1. Perhaps I'll jinx myself the other way and she'll be a perfect little toddler
OR
2. I will have one freaking awesome slideshow to show y'all.

And her. On her wedding day.

35 comments:

Jessie said...

I feel your pain, but I must say that first picture of her is SO DARN CUTE!

Good luck....I really hope you prove yourself wrong!

Laura at Ms. Smartie Pants said...

Girl I feeeeeeel your pain!But mine was a boy, after years, and I'm not telling you how many that would be cruel and leave you little hope, we declared that we weren't going to have another birthday party for him, if you can't even be happy at your birthday party what can you be happy at?!? And just so you know he is grown now and I still cry when I go into his room, I miss him so! Good luck!

Tracy's Trinkets and Treasures said...

My one and only didn't do that so I can't even imagine, but is sure is fun to read about. It will be for you someday too. Thank you so much for giving me all those pics to look at. You know how I love seeing her even if she is crying so hard she has snot running down her face! Love that red hair and those teeth!

SoSarahSews said...

I'm on boy number three and I FEEL YOUR PAIN! No matter where we are, everyone knows Owen is there because he's pissed about something and letting the world know it. When it's time to hold hands in the parking lot, he screams and says, "Ow! Ow!" such a little manipulator!

I totally get you.

Erica said...

Never have I laughed out loud as I did reading this post!! I love it. And oh my heavens, I've been there too!! Your pictures are priceless. She is as beautiful throwing a tantrum as she is when she's not. :o)

Laura @ Laura's Crafty Life said...

Two year olds are so rough! My 5 year old can probably be a pretty good match for your little doll! He is the fun sucker in our house. He is always so excited to go and then there is always a meltdown. It is hard to know whether to laugh or cry yourself! :)

Allie said...

I laughed so hard through this entire post. Even though I don't have kids, I do teach kindergarten and sometimes I feel like I have 2 year old instead of 5 year olds, especially this year. I could definitely relate. :) :) Your little girl is crazy precious.

Cathy M~(checkitoff) said...

She is so stinkin cute Mandi!! I lovey the crying pics!! You can threaten her with them when she is a teenager!! You are an awesome momma and some kids react differently to new situations. Keep trying and I bet she becomes your most adventurous child!! All they really ned is a lot of love :) (btw, you inspired me to change my ugly forest green linoleum in my laundry room/mud room, i am going with a product called allure (~homedepot~) but i haven't decided on a color even though i already bought 4 boxes, it may go back for a color change!! i will keep you posted!) hugs, cathy

Connie @ Measured by the Heart said...

Your pics are gorgeous!

Emily said...

She is such a cutie! I love all those cute picture! My girls are the same way. Maybe it's a girls thing.

Rach said...

Empathy from me... Good luck with that!

Kimber said...

Adventures in Babysitting and Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou??

She is one heck of a cutie! Tantrums and all.

SueAnn said...

Definitely black mail photo ops!
For use with her first dates...for wedding shower party. Get her good!!
Ha
Hugs
SueAnn

-Lisa said...

OMG! Seriously? I was reading this post and having to do it through tears. Tears of laughter. I sent the post to my sister who will so love it! Especially all the crying pics. I had a 2 year old like that once and thought I would lose my mind. He turned out just great, handsome, loving and still keeps me on my toes.
Best of luck!
-Lisa over at 16lstreet.blogspot.com

Staci said...

Mandi-

As mean as it is...I can't help but laugh out loud EVERY time I see that picture of her in the boat. I seriously want to print it off and hang it on my wall. But I tell ya, 2 is ROUGH with girls...and I've found so is 3, 4, 5...etc. and I've only reached 10 and it's not shaping up to be a stellar year either.

Now I know why my mother put the curse "I hope you have a girl JUST LIKE YOU".

Hopefully we all make it through without causing ourselves or our sweet little cherubs too much therapy down the road. :)

Anonymous said...

Can I just say I'm sorry. I have lived through that 3 times. I seriously don't remember my first child doing that. I think it is because when he was 2 he was an only child and we totally focused on him and what he liked. (Don't worry, he is making up for it now- not with tantrums though). My hardest was my number 3. Guess what? As soon as he could communicate with me (late talker)- and do the big kid stuff better- he is my ANGEL child. Seriously my easiest and cutest child. Even better then my number 2 who you know well. Good things are to come with her.

Kerri said...

Oh this was funny! Cute adorable pictures in the beginning...I wasn't expecting the other pics!

Tyler-Ashlee's Mommy said...

That is HILARIOUS! You already have a pretty good slideshow going, haha!

Shannon @ Why Not On A Tuesday said...

I just LOVE that airplane carnival ride picture. I couldn't help but laugh!

Jen said...

My boys were never like this, but my daughter....oh boy!!! She's almost 13 now, sassy as ever, and STILL cries and gets cranky if she's really tired. It's comical sometimes, but mostly really annoying because of her age. We have a video of a tantrum she threw, full on weeping and wailing and nashing of teeth, that we took about a year ago. She was SO tired, but didn't want to go to bed. I had to drag her into her room and hold her bedroom door closed. She was asleep in about 2.7 seconds! We have told her that it, and all the other evidence of her whiny-ness, WILL be played/shown at her wedding! ;)

The Stump Clan said...

Hilarious!! But sorry, also! Been there, done that! And I love adventures in babysitting:)

Layne Bushell said...

Been there done that and can I say, it was twice this week with a FOUR year old....I thought we'd bee well over this by now! Ha.

Nicki Rocky said...

I feel your pain. I remember carrying a kicking and screaming 9 year old into a prize giving (where she was getting a prize!) at the local zoo with free entertainment like jugglers and face painters. Could NOT see the logic there!

I wont say it gets easier but it does evolve into different things (usually just at the point where you WILL commit murder it x does that ONE more time!) so you can cope with it.

Belchamber4 said...

I had to wait a full day before commenting, I was laughing so hard!
My youngest daughter is the same way. 3 out of 4 times I regret ever leaving the house. Good thing they are so cute. I love your game idea, I think I'll play along. See how my Miss. Elliott likes it.

WhettenWild said...

Can't remember the name of the first show........drawing a blank right now but I SO know what you are talking about becauswe I say gub-ment all the time. Wait......Damon Wayans? In Living Color? The other one was in Adventures in Babysitting. LOL.

I guess Sienna is starting early. She has been so hard the last couple of times we've gone out. does that mean she'll be over it sooner???

T. said...

Awwww...she's a cutiepie for sure and like my mom would say "Just you wait until she reaches her teens" ;)
And I'm sure she's gonna absolutly luuuuv when you show her tantrum-slides at her wedding lol

Hugs
Your Danish Stalker

Rebecca D said...

We have a "fun-sucker" in our family too... It started about age 2 and continues to this day. When she is happy the whole world is happy with this amazing girl, but let one little thing go wrong and the clouds come out and the complaining begins. It seems kinds fitting that "cranky" rhymes so well with her name.

Rebecca D said...

We have a "fun-sucker" in our family too... It started about age 2 and continues to this day. When she is happy the whole world is happy with this amazing girl, but let one little thing go wrong and the clouds come out and the complaining begins. It seems kinds fitting that "cranky" rhymes so well with her name.

Hayley said...

Oh, this is so good. At first I saw your little precious babe and thought of my little precious babe at her age. Then I immediately thought of how I could have been more tolerant of her rants... But then I kept reading, and now I feel better. Thanks.

Anna said...

This was just the most hilarious post I've ever read. Definitely bust those out at her wedding. :)

GustoBones said...

Don't know the first quote. But the second quote is from "Adventures in Babysitting" of course!(I think?) I feel you pain on little girls. So sweet, but man when they're not, Look OUT! I am just entering that stage with my second girl! :)
Hang in there.

TUM said...

My almost 4 year old son is just coming out of the terrible twos. In this house the terribles were in the 3s. And boy was it tough. Good luck.

Loved the picture of your daughter on
the boat ride.

Jessie K said...

I feel your pain! I have a 4 and 2 year old and 2 month old. The 2 year old tries to be naughty just to see how far she can push me (not very far!)! I'm about going crazy!

Teri said...

That pic of her in the boat with her brother is epic!

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

Hi Mandi! I just found you through Cheri's blog! I love your sense of humor and I've loved scrolling through your posts. I thought I'd leave a comment on this one because when my daughter was 2, her legendary "get back at Mommy for pissing me off" in the store was saying to me, "You're not my Mommy!" This was in the late 80's, a time when children were snatched from stores and parents had their kids on leashes. Many times I left those stores red-faced and muttering under my breath.

The good news ~ she is now 25 and we are the best of friends! And ~ she has a daughter! Ha! The ultimate revenge because she is 20 months old and just starting the "I will throw myself on the ground and humiliate you like no other" phase. Yes, what goes around comes around! : )