I think Paul McCartney's "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" song will suffice. Play that in your head--
'cause I have a few things to say about today.
I want you to know,
that I am big, huge, on the holiday breakfast.
I want you to know that we've got Christmas treats coming out of our heehaws.
I want you to know that it's not a White Christmas here. So clearly, this is not today.
And I'm the weenee who's secretly glad. Don't be mad at me.
I want you to know that a super duper awesome friend whipped me up a pipe chimes holder.
And personally, I thought our "Christmas Bells" were the shizzle last night.
I also want you to know that I am in amazement of how long it takes to prepare for Christmas morning,
and how quickly there's a path of destruction in it's wake.
I want you to know that we are on not our first, or second, but our FOURTH, edition of the board game "CandyLand".
We (and I say "we" meaning my children) have a talent for board game massacre.
I wanna say Merry Christmas. And if I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night.