While you ask yourself,
"How many times can Mandi fit this picture into a post?",
I'd like to give you a little look-see of my molding/curtain hanger dealy-o. That's what they're called. Really.
Are you ready for this highly informative and straight-forward tut? Good. But please be aware, that this tutorial for the molding/curtain hanger dealy-o must be followed precisely. PRECISELY.
-Be aware that this is approximately a 2 hour project. Realize you will make it stretch to 4 days or so.
-Choose yourself some very choice molding. Or just whatever crap you have laying around.
-Find a dirty garage floor.
-Using clamps, glue your molding to some backing with which you thought would be plenty strong, but your husband will later tell you is actually a piece of crap and shouldn't have been used.
-Use at least a gallon-sized jug of wood glue. Slop the wood glue around. This is a necessary and important step.
-Clamp your mitered crown molding together with wood glue, since you did a p.o.s. job of cutting properly.
-Spackle/caulk the gap you left when you shot a brad nail in between your molding pieces.
-Glue the whole d$%# thing to the floor of the garage. Use a hammer to loosen it.
-Paint. Somehow manage to slop paint on the back of your arm. Because you do that, every.single.time.
-Give bonus points to anyone who can point out just what kind of molding was used.
-Using a french cleat,
hang on the wall, using 2 inch screws into the studs. Stand on a fold up chair. Feel it fold up on you, and feel your life flash before your eyes.
-Get the step ladder. Promise to take your story of swinging arms/nearly falling backwards on your head to the grave.
-Break that promise.
-Use a "heavy duty" curtain rod which is actually as cheap as a trailer park hooker to hold up your curtains.
-Laugh and say "heavy duty" with air quotes every couple of minutes or so.
-Attempt to hang the molding/curtain hanger dealy-o by yourself. 30 pounds or so. Waaaay over your head.
-Realize, after hearing awful cracking noises, that you've made it too top heavy and adjustments must be made.
-Bring it down. Try not to cry. Take the back apart. Put it back together.
-Frequently say, in your best Dr. Evil voice, "This is to let you know that this organization will not tolerate failure.", as you work past 11:00 p.m.
-Wonder if anyone really makes nice quality, WHITE curtains.
-Cuss about your cream curtains.
-Wonder if your picture or your molding/curtain hanger dealy-o is crooked. Or both.
-And finally, get the nail gun and go nuts to strengthen the entire piece. Ensure that the wall behind looks like swiss cheese.
And that's it, folks. 487 simple steps. Easy as pie.