Our house has been turned upside down these last few days. Cats and dogs living together; mass hysteria.
You know, the usual. But a little more than usual.
See, we bought this sectional. . .
and we loved it. We had dweams of all our little fart knockers sitting together. Fighting each other. Peeing on it. That sort of thing.
And so we bought it with little to no thought to how we would actually get it down in the dungeon.
Don't you judge me! The basement window was coming out for drywall to come in! We figured if it wasn't going down the stairs, it would go through the window, okay? OKAY??
We thought wrong. We Assumed. And you know what happens when you assume, don'tcha?
You end up with (the biggest piece of a) sectional that fits nowhere. NOWHERE.
I wasn't being picky-- I would've traded my family room sectional for the dungeon sectional, had you not had to shimmy through the 2 foot space between said sectional and fireplace.
"So you're gonna take it back?"
"Aw shoot! So you're gonna pick something different?"
No. NO, DERN IT! The hubs and I were bent on this couch. Determined. Obstinate. Tenacious. Stubborn Jack A's. Whatever you wanna call us.
Plus, you know, the fact that you can't return it because it was a scratch and dent sale is also a bit of a motivation, too.
We were going to get it down there come heck or high water.
So what did we do? And when I say "we", I really just mean Jeff?
Well, thanks for asking. You break your couch, drag it down to the dungeon, and then put it all back together. Exactly the way it was.
Easy as pie. You have to WANT IT, man. You.have.to.want.it.
And thus began "Sofa Anatomy 101".
I'm not going to lie to ya now- I was pretty worried.
Like, "holycrapwearejackingupourcouch!" and "Oh my gosh what have we done?" and "Are we idiots??"
And so forth.
But you know, there was no need for worry. For, you see,
Jeffrey is the sofa whisperer.
I'm tellin' you-- he cut at the joints, we took it downstairs,
we jacked up the wall a bit.
And hey, nothing a little spackle and some paint didn't already fix.
And then he just put it all back together. Like, perfectly back together. Ensured it was strong as strong,
and made it look just like it was before he took a SawzAll to it.
Jeffrey, I am impressed. You.Complete.Me. I am happy, nay, proud, to be the mother of your children.
Yeah, I just threw up a bit in my mouth, too.