Had a couple meltdowns this weekend.
'Mmm hmm. Yeper-rino. Nearly visited the funny farm. Totally loco. I'd gone scooters.
Allow me to give you a little rundown on the sitch-ee-ation, would you? A timeline, if you will. The countdown to the meltdown.
Thank you, you're so kind.
-Friday, 1500 hrs:
"Carpet's getting put in the dungeon on Tuesday! That's plenty of time! All we need to do is finish all the painting, buy all the trim, cut it all, nail it up, paint it all, clean the whole area, move out all the furniture. . .
-Saturday, 1200 hrs:
(Me, calling the daddy-o on the phone),
"Dad?" (voice rises higher and higher in pitch to near in audibility,) "I'm at Lowe's. . . and I've tried and tried for like 30 minutes, and I can't get all my molding into my car, and I. . NEED . . . HELP . .. "
Sentence ends with a "Waaaa".
-Saturday, 1500 hrs, baseboard linear foot number 89:
Me: "Let's never do this again."
Jeff: "Um, yee-ah. Well, everything else in the house would be finished off, so we wouldn't be doing this again, now would we?"
(Assume a "duh" inflection.)
-Saturday, 2200 hrs., baseboard linear foot number 113:
Me: "I HATE THIS! THIS ROOM CAN EXPLODE FOR ALL I CARE! DO YOU KNOW HOW SICK AND TIRED I AM OF HAVING A SATURDAY WITH A LIST SO LONG IT CAN'T POSSIBLY ALL BE DONE?? DO YOU?"
Jeff: "Um, okay. So you're stressed?"
Me: "YOU COULD SAY THAT, YEAH!" (barely audible "waaa".)
Jeff: "So, um, what's stressing you out?"
Me: "I have a million more miles of baseboard to finish, it has to be painted, it's almost 11:00, I have a lesson to teach tomorrow and I'm not ready, I have ONE INCH roots that I was going to have fixed today, but do we have time for that?? I have a musical number tomorrow I'm not ready for, we basically ignored the kids all day, the house looks like a bomb went off, AND DID I MENTION I HAVE ONE INCH ROOTS??"
-Saturday, 20 minutes later:
"Wait a minute, what the? Is this some sort of sick joke?"
"Who put in these freaky bedroom corners?? That's it. SCREW IT."
Please notice that it still got done. But not by me.
-Monday, 1800 hrs., following 4 hours of baseboard painting:
"Dude, I'm just stashing crap anywhere it will go. I don't care. The bathtub? I'm filling it with crap. A cooler, nightstand, your sound system-- whatever."
(Yes, today's board meeting will be held in the john. Thank you.)
-Monday, 2100 hrs.,:
Jeff: "Great! Now all we have left is removing the saw, the air hockey table, the couch, the sectional, the. . . "
Me: "Sunuva. . . "
-Monday, 2200 hrs., 4th try of getting the sectional back up the stairs:
Jeff: "No, no no. This isn't going to work. Back it up. Let's do a 180°-- now you're gonna have to lift it up and make it vertical. . . no, no.. . .no OVER your head now. . ."
Me: "Sunuva. . . "
-Tuesday 0100 hrs. following old carpet removal, 20 million tack removals, last second decision to paint the hall and the closet:
Me, slurring my words: "Dude, we have to go to bed. I feel really weird."
Jeff: "Me, too. My head's started that buzzing thing. And that ain't good."
So, we got done. We were ready. 3 sweeps of the floor later. My hands so covered in paint it was like latex gloves. But the point is:
Please say you've had a similar reaction to a large-ish house project. A bathroom re-no? A dog house? A closet? Anything! Please?