Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Whose Stupid Idea Was This Anyway?

Had a couple meltdowns this weekend.

'Mmm hmm. Yeper-rino. Nearly visited the funny farm. Totally loco. I'd gone scooters.

Allow me to give you a little rundown on the sitch-ee-ation, would you? A timeline, if you will. The countdown to the meltdown.

Thank you, you're so kind.

-Friday, 1500 hrs:

"Carpet's getting put in the dungeon on Tuesday! That's plenty of time! All we need to do is finish all the painting, buy all the trim, cut it all, nail it up, paint it all, clean the whole area, move out all the furniture. . .


OH. CRAP."

-Saturday, 1200 hrs:

(Me, calling the daddy-o on the phone),

"Dad?" (voice rises higher and higher in pitch to near in audibility,) "I'm at Lowe's. . . and I've tried and tried for like 30 minutes, and I can't get all my molding into my car, and I. . NEED . . . HELP . .. "

Sentence ends with a "Waaaa".


-Saturday, 1500 hrs, baseboard linear foot number 89:

Me: "Let's never do this again."
Jeff: "Um, yee-ah. Well, everything else in the house would be finished off, so we wouldn't be doing this again, now would we?"



(Assume a "duh" inflection.)


-Saturday, 2200 hrs., baseboard linear foot number 113:


Me: "I HATE THIS! THIS ROOM CAN EXPLODE FOR ALL I CARE! DO YOU KNOW HOW SICK AND TIRED I AM OF HAVING A SATURDAY WITH A LIST SO LONG IT CAN'T POSSIBLY ALL BE DONE?? DO YOU?"

Jeff: "Um, okay. So you're stressed?"

Me: "YOU COULD SAY THAT, YEAH!" (barely audible "waaa".)

Jeff: "So, um, what's stressing you out?"

Me: "I have a million more miles of baseboard to finish, it has to be painted, it's almost 11:00, I have a lesson to teach tomorrow and I'm not ready, I have ONE INCH roots that I was going to have fixed today, but do we have time for that?? I have a musical number tomorrow I'm not ready for, we basically ignored the kids all day, the house looks like a bomb went off, AND DID I MENTION I HAVE ONE INCH ROOTS??"

-Saturday, 20 minutes later:

"Wait a minute, what the? Is this some sort of sick joke?"

"Who put in these freaky bedroom corners?? That's it. SCREW IT."

Please notice that it still got done. But not by me.

-Monday, 1800 hrs., following 4 hours of baseboard painting:

"Dude, I'm just stashing crap anywhere it will go. I don't care. The bathtub? I'm filling it with crap. A cooler, nightstand, your sound system-- whatever."

(Yes, today's board meeting will be held in the john. Thank you.)


-Monday, 2100 hrs.,:

Jeff: "Great! Now all we have left is removing the saw, the air hockey table, the couch, the sectional, the. . . "


Me: "Sunuva. . . "


-Monday, 2200 hrs., 4th try of getting the sectional back up the stairs:

Jeff: "No, no no. This isn't going to work. Back it up. Let's do a 180°-- now you're gonna have to lift it up and make it vertical. . . no, no.. . .no OVER your head now. . ."

Me: "Sunuva. . . "

-Tuesday 0100 hrs. following old carpet removal, 20 million tack removals, last second decision to paint the hall and the closet:

Me, slurring my words: "Dude, we have to go to bed. I feel really weird."

Jeff: "Me, too. My head's started that buzzing thing. And that ain't good."


So, we got done. We were ready. 3 sweeps of the floor later. My hands so covered in paint it was like latex gloves. But the point is:

We.Were.Ready.


Please say you've had a similar reaction to a large-ish house project. A bathroom re-no? A dog house? A closet? Anything! Please?

20 comments:

alesa said...

We stayed up for three days trying to get ready for carpet while doing a whole house remodel so I completely feel you pain. Good job though. Can't wait to the final project.

slommler said...

I give you a hearty YES!! I have been there!!! Waaaaaa!!! I did a painting dedicated to this scenario!! You would love it!
So congrats on getting it done. But the melt down...well...what's a little melt-down between friends??? Melt away honey!!
Hugging you gently
SueAnn

Lori said...

It was probably your idea. It will shortly be a funny memory and you will be enjoying your room. Great job and I agree who would build freaky corners like that. Hello!

Suesan said...

One year, I remodeled my Mother-in-law's house. I spent three weeks removing the floor to ceiling crap (she was a bona fide hoarder). Then, over the summer, my KIDS and I did the following: gutted the kitchen (including removing the dropped ceiling), painted the entire house inside and out, removed popcorn ceiling and textured ceiling, refinished a fireplace, installed new kitchen and bathrooms, tiled bathroom floors, installed Laminate and bamboo hardware, rebuilt the front rail thing, replaced all the doors and trim in the entire house, replaced all the outlets, switches and baseboard heaters, replumbed all the sinks. Did I mention my oldest was 15, the next one was 11 and the youngest was 9. Yeah. It was special. We all still have nightmares of it.

Cathy M~(checkitoff) said...

Mandi, this is sooooo going to be worth it!!! Think of the hours the kiddos will spend down there!! It is beautiful!!! I cannot wait for you to get the carpeting!! Hang in there...it will be done soon & you will get to enjoy it!! hugs, Cathy

Amie said...

You completely crack me up! It is going to look amazing. Get some sleep!

Leslie@leserleeslovesandhobbies said...

I'm sure I will feel your pain when we finish our dungeon. But the remodel we have done, we installed carpet before molding, and almost three years later we still don't have any molding. Someday....

Dharma said...

I once slept in a sleeping bag on subfloor. Dude, you - me. I feel your "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

amanda_stone said...

I feel your pain...

Emily said...

When we got our carpet, we had to move our pool table and a 90 gallon fish tank. I feel your pain of having everything shoved everywhere you can think of. But your basement and carpet will look fantastic.

Shirley said...

Umm, no.
Cause I am not as brave as you.
I have no skill with man tools.
Not ashamed to admit it. But you......
ROCK!!! Can't wait to see the final pics!! :)

Spencer & Lorilyn Crum said...

That is an insane amount of work. I'm starting a TV show and you will be the star. You are so awesome.

Thos cuts on that corner are freakin sick.

We (and by "we" I mean my husbands pops) installed the trim back into our bathroom this weekend and it was stressful, regardless of the fact that I wasn't actually doing anything and left several times on errands.

I can't wait to see what this looks like finished. I'm so excited my head could literally explode at any second.

Joanna said...

Yep...we completely remodeled our house. I feel your pain.

pogonip said...

Luv you guys! Repeat after me--it will be worth it, it will be worth it, it will be... Thanks for the laugh (at your expense, so sorry).

Sylvia said...

It is BEEEE-U-TEE-FULL!!!! Worth it!!! Great job!

Lisa said...

Oh my gosh that molding. Love it. You'll be happy you did it all when your chitlins are playing down there and the rest of the house is toy and chaos-free! Totally feel your pain too!

Layne Bushell said...

It's a huge project. And you are the only person I know who could tackle it, d.i.y., and have it look FANTASTIC all in a 3 day time frame. You are a Heroic feat of nature, my friend. We're gonna go out when this madness is OVER...and next time, please holler, I'll take the 4 kids so they don't have to be ingored!

Teri said...

One time, I got so excited about painting our bedroom in a 100-year old house that we were renting that I went in and impetuously ripped off the vinyl wallpaper...in about 3.4 seconds. We didn't have a ladder, and there were 12-foot ceilings. I had no paint. I hadn't asked permission from the landlord. I didn't realize that the texture would still be on the lathe-and-plaster behind the paper. I freaked out. Cliff ended up finishing the painting after hours and hours of prep on my part. We spilled 2 buckets of TSP water on our bed which was still in the middle of the room. It was a nightmare...but it was pretty.

And then we moved out a few months later.

Indiri said...

Painting our two story room (which included 3 hallways and any number of hard to reach spots was that kind of project. The first round of paint was the wrong color but was so close to what it was supposed to be we didn't realize the blue was drying purple until we had the cutting in done (18' from the ground).

Congrats on getting all of that done!

Mandi@TidbitsfromtheTremaynes said...

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