Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I Dream of Jeannie.

I must have spring fever, because I'm dreaming big.

Besides warm weather?

I'm dreaming of a little of this:


Or this:

or:

or:

or:

Oh, my. Swoon.

Now, I fully realize that this type of landscape would require a move to a different part of the country. Can't do anything about that, but. . .

I can start small. Ish.

I've got a deck out back, and I'm willing to work, man. And it will take work. Lots and lots of it. First up? I need a table for this outdoor dining experience/reverie/musing.

And I want a big table. Big. Ginormous. I want it to fit the whole fam dam,

which is why I put Ana White's Rustic Table on my to-do list.

And I got to work, man. 'Bout $60 worth of lumber, 20 or so cuts with the saw, and massive amounts of screws.

There was a lot of drilling. There was a lot of crouching. There was massive amounts of plumber butt.

And I would like to thank my neighbors for not running over my children when I thought they were right next to me, and instead were doing the crazy dance out in the street.

Mother of the year award. Right here.

This bad boy is 8 feet long, man.

And it truly adds to the ingenious tableau of the garbage can and the lawnmower in the gay-rage. Truly.

I veered from the original plans just a tad by having bigger, sturdier legs, since as the Daddy-o so keenly pointed out:

"You just know your kids are going to be standing on that thing."

So true, Dad. So true.

I opted for a two-toned, walnut stain with white legs.

I love you, table. Many delicious barbeques shall be eaten upon you, I swear it.

And here it stands:

right over the spot of our last murder victim.

I mean, what else is there to do in a gay-rage besides building and manslaughter?

33 comments:

f e l i c i t y said...

Oh, my heavens. You did that?! Ah-mazing!

You are always so amusing. Keep it up, love! :)

Jessica at Me Sew Crazy said...

gorgeous table! Your outdoor space is going to be amazing! Excited to see it progress :)

Nikky said...

I think I luuurve you. Marry me? ;) Oh... And bring your power tools. I think plumber butt is sex-ay!

alamama said...

hahahahaha! i thought that was blood! awesome job! what stain did you use? we are going to do something like this for our kitchen table.

Tracy's Trinkets and Treasures/Treasured Moments said...

You would have time to whip out some chairs if you spent less time murdering folks! I really love that table. The walnut stain looks so good. I can't wait to see it outside. I think you need a pic of you dancing on the table!

cehendricks said...

Love it!! Now I want one. Better get to work.

Layne Bushell said...

That's exactly what I thought the purpose of the garage was. So funny. Table is beUtiful. Nice job. Now figure out how to build that pergola, work out the kinks, and get started on mine!

Emily said...

That would be so fun to sit outside and have dinner!

...thats what we use our garage for, doesn't everyone??

Lisa said...

Awesome! Now you just need a pergola to go over it and if anyone can build one, you can. (no pressure)

Jessie K said...

I vote for a pergola out of branches. Totally man, so easy yet soh-FIS-tuh-cay-tad!

gina3 said...

Really? I saw those pictures and was already thinking I would leave a funny comment about you probably building it yourself. Well, you did build it yourself...or at least a start. Gorgeous table. I would buy that. You are so becoming my idol :)

calikas said...

That is so amazing!!

Rach said...

Woa. I want it.

Rach said...

One more thing...if you want an outdoor rug? Paint a drop cloth with stripes or whatevs....so cheap and sturdy!

Lori said...

Wowsers! $60 bucks no way. So enjoy your first outdoor dinner!

chris w said...

Dude - you are gonna be giving me some major patio envy. A tear or two might be shed. :)

Heather@The Black's Best said...

I am always amazed by women such as yourself who tackle HUGE projects like it's no biggy...I'm just a whimp...maybe someday I'll grow up to be like you! :)

Leslie@leserleeslovesandhobbies said...

<3! The question I have though...Will you bring it inside in the winter, so it doesn't succumb to the harsh Utah elements?

Lois@frugaldecormom said...

Hysterical laughter over here! Love the table and as always your humor is great!

Teri said...

Love it! I can't wait to see what you do with it! I, too, am dreaming of summer...so much so that we are going to bring in our patio set complete with umbrella and set it up in the as-yet-empty front living room for our housewarming party on Friday! (Seriously. Friday. I've never even had a party let alone one for which I must complete about 2849573 more hours of unpacking and cleaning!) Anyway, in other news, we bought a drill! And I used it by myself today! I was channeling my inner-Mandi. I shall post about the Roman shade I made one I get it *drilled* into the wall tomorrow! Yay!

Auntie Bliss said...

Shhhh! My family is sleeping and you just made me blurt a laugh out loud...yikes. Man :)
I want that table and all the above parties.

Halls Huddle said...

It turned out beautifully! You are amazing, my friend. So which neighbor did ya murder?

Janelle said...

I love the table. Love. I can't believe how nice the stain looks next to the white paint. In other news: My parents have a pergola. We should take a field trip to see it. Then you can ask MY daddy-o how he built it.

Joanna said...

Ooh, you and me both, but herein lies the difference: You have the skills to make it happen, I don't. Can't wait to see what you create!! ANXIOUSLY awaiting.

Joanna said...

BTW, my son actually has a third nipple. You wouldn't know what it was, unless the doctor told you, but still...I don't think he's a loser. ;) (and I'm being totally serious here)

Libby said...

we don't have a gar-rage, just a shed with a wooden floor--easier to dispose of the evidence and no huge door exposing the killing floor.

Love the stain, it worked out so well.

Melanie said...

I love this table! well done. Way to go at not being ashamed of the murder victim either:)

WhettenWild said...

I turned out great! Good choice on the color. Love it!

Kristi@living-blessed-life said...

Will you move to TX and be my new BFF please? I so want to build things like you! It's that pesky no tool issue...hmmmm? Maybe my dad won't notice things missing from his garage?!

Spencer & Lorilyn Crum said...

This looks so awesome!!!! My husbands totally been all about designing (aka having me design) and outdoor room of sorts. I'd eventually like to build one of these with some L-sectional seating around it on my patio.

Buuut it won't be summer (or even spring for that matter) here for at least.... 4 more months so I have some time.

laurel said...

Awesome table. You're my hero!

Ellie said...

I love this table! With one of those silverware caddies you made, k? New follower. :)

Anny said...

I love two toned furniture, this table is so pretty and glossy :)