Wednesday, we played:
-You decide which is which.
Are you ready for the truth?
"You can't handle the truth!"
1. If I had the money, my entire house would be covered in Ikea goods. I would replace every piece of furniture I own for all that awesomeness.
FALSE. Don't hate me. To be fair, Ikea is beginning to grow on me. I think their customer service is amazing, their kids' section is awesome, and a lot of their wall art rocks the free world. BUT, let's be fair: take, oh say, one of their boxy coffee tables out of the store (or the catalog) in your brain. NOW, stick it in Kmart and walk past (in your brain). Do you still love it?
2. Most embarrassing moment included:
College. Bowling class. And slipping and falling on my derriere into the lane.
Not me. My sister. (sorry, Mo. Do you feel used?)
4. As the driver of a car that ran over a pigeon, I can tell you from personal experience that pigeons, when ran over, will pop like balloons, shower feathers, and make the sound of a gun shot.
NOT the driver. The innocent, traumatized bystander of gun shot/popped balloon/showering feathers pigeon. Shudder.
5. During a re-no project, while pulling off old trim, I forgot that I was setting the old trim behind me. So imagine my supreese when I sat back and put a nail right into my A cheek. Worst.pain.ever. childbirthing aside.)
Not moi. Jeffrey. (Poor Jeffrey. Do you feel used?)
6. The worst thing I've ever done:
I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then I made a noise like this: "hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa" - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
That would, in fact, be Chunk. Now let's all do the Truffle Shuffle.
Which only leaves one:
3. My first and last "Going all Kung Fu" consisted of 10 seconds worth of swinging nunchucks, accompanying "Waaaaa" sound effects, and slamming one funny bone. After which was 5 minutes of silent tears.
Up 'til now, I'd only admitted that to one person in the whole world. Now excuse me while I go wallow in my humiliations galore with a giant chocolate bar behind the clothes in my closet. "Waaaaa!"
I bequeath this fun and dishonest award to:
Lorilyn at A Crummy Marriage Blog (she's hysterical)
Mandi (no I'm not talking to myself, different Mandi) at Vintage Revival
(girl after my own heart)
Teri at "The Pursuit of Scrappyness".
And thanks for playin'.