Monday, July 12, 2010

Kids: can't live with 'em; pass the beer nuts.

It's times like these when I worry that I'm raising hoodlums.

Take the other morning. Jace brings me a card.

"Mom," he says, "this is for you."
Oooh a card how suhweet!
"Is this a swear word?"
And then he takes off out of my room and down the stairs like his pants are on fire.

Wow. That is sooooo sweet.

Or that tender moment betwixt me and the homies, reading.

And ended up in tears and an all-out brawl over which book and who couldn't see.

Not one book was read.
Just lots of crying and pushing. And a really pissed off mom.

Or take last week's puppet making activity.

"Mom, what are those things called on my chest again? Oh right. Those are his nipples."

Oh Goody. You got your puppet's nipples covered. Er, I guess I could say uncovered. Most people wear their bowties above their nips, however.

Did I mention the word hoodlum?

And finally, at this moment,
(well, you know, before I sat to actually type it)

I've got a giant wad of bubble gum in my mouth, and the homies are taking turns popping each bubble, all the while laughing hysterically. And I'm thinkin',

"Man I've just added 10 trillion germs to my mouth with these stinky sweaty hands."

"Jace needs a haircut."

"Someone smells."

"Please don't smack me in the mouth. I've got a canker."

"Someone smells."

and also,

"Forget everything; this is where it's at."

Hoodlums or not.


1 Funky Woman said...

Someone smells, oh man is it you? I love it, I've been known to say that to my children. Especially when it comes to feet! And when you drive down the road and someone takes their shoes off oh man just shoot me!

Amanda said...

Ha! Love that "Shat" card! I had an experience with my almost 6 yr old I'm debating on blogging about.

I handed him a shirt and some shorts to put on. The shirt happened to be an old shirt of his bigger brother. He put it on, but told me it didn't fit.

"It fits you just fine." I told him.

" No, it's too long. It goes all the way past my 'peanuts'"

When I laughed at him, he said,

"Why you laughing? That's what it's called-- a 'peanuts'!"

Cracked me up!

Heidi said...

Always love love your stories. I so wish there was blogging when mine were young and what they said and did was still cute. Such a great way to keep track of all the memories! And of course for black mail purposes when they get older! LOL.

FastForwardingThroughLife said...

You know "shat" is totally your word! I'm glad the crazy isn't only at my house.

chris w said...

I think you're raising some little people that are gonna make it through life just fine based on their sense of humors alone. :)

I can't wait to see what little sis adds to the mix when she's big enough to enter the fray.

Don't you just LOVE those moments that are usually the most mundane but it just hits you that THIS is why I'm here. Makes it all worth while. Hoodlums and all. :)

Emily said...

I love the puppet, that is just awesome. You have some pretty funny kids!!

Renee said...

I think this is my new favorite post! Seriously, the whole reading thing...happens daily at my home!

Sue said...

I'm with Heidi. Your blog makes me so glad my 1+3 are grown up now. I remember it all.

Anonymous said...

Your kids are well on their way to hoodlumism. My kids are 21 20 18 and 16....and they use the word SHAT. Now I don't know if they made it up or it is a real word...but your post made me laugh.

My kids use it as an alternative to shit....who knows?

The nips are funny. Like another person, I wish we had blogging to keep track of these comments they should keep a back up because one day they are going to pee themselves when they realize what they did and said!

Creative Decor by Brooke said...

SHAT! Oh, that is funny. I think I might use that. I am sorry to tell you the pushing, fighting, angry mother stuff never goes away. Even when they are much older. Just have to laugh, or you will cry. Ha.

WhettenWild said...

That card was such a crack up. I still want to know which one of them wrote it.

dena4kids said...

ROFL! I love it! Especially the nips! Just typing it cracks me up! Good times...good times.=)

Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points said...

Shakespearean profanity. And at such a young age!

Clearly, they're advanced.

Add those hugely sophisticated human biology skills and I really think the colleges of their choice are just waiting for them.

Anonymous said...

Oh good God I literally about died laughing when I saw the inside the of "shat" card. [I'm totally gonna be That Mom that accidentally encourages my kids' bad behavior by laughing at them. Hahahaha.]

Ellie said...

This post had me laughing out loud. Thanks for sharing the realities of parenting. This is where it's at!

AM from White House, Black Shutters said...

bwwahahaha! Your kids are hilarious. This post gives me so much to look forward to :D

Teri said...

You had me at "nips".