Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Smorgasbord

This will be the most random post you've ever read. It's about food ("all she talks about is FOOD!" okay that's only funny if you've seen Jim Gaffigan: "Hot Pockets!").
Anyway, I have several things to say about food. I completely own that I am a terrible cook, and that it actually gets worse when I cook for people outside of my family. But, I did indeed cook 2 out of 3 meals when my parents were here. I left out lunch. What in H-E-double L do people eat for lunch? I rarely eat lunch 'cause I can't figure out what to make myself. I hate that meal. Sandwiches? Barf. Anyways I did cook breakfast and I did cook dinner. And my parents were so complimentary about my meals! I think they plotted with each other before they came that they would try and boost my cooking self-esteem. Well it worked, even though I think they calculated beforehand.
Also, I bought myself this. It too boosted my self-esteem as well, since it's all about terrible conctions from yesteryear. And I've already read it from cover to cover, in less than 24 hours. And I certainly did laugh my head off: I had to keep wiping the tears/mascara off my face. I highly recommend this, as well as it's predecessor: "The Gallery of Regrettable Food". Priceless.
On a final note, have you ever had Crunchy Ramen Salad? Maybe it's just a Utah recipe, like fry sauce. I don't know. Well in this house, we love it. It's Jeff's favorite. At my grandpa's post-funeral lunch, we actually did NOT eat ham, funeral potatoes, jello, and rolls. I know! I was shocked. It was delicious. Except for one thing: the "crunchy ramen salad". Oh ho, no, it wasn't what we thought it was. Monique and I both piled our plates with what could only be crunched up ramen noodles, with the dry packet of seasonings very liberally sprinkled on top of it. It was 300% of your salt intake for the day in one bite. We looked at each other and discreetly spit it into our napkins. Well, enough said about food. I need to go cook breakfast.

6 comments:

Emily said...

You cook breakfast. I'm impressed! The only time I cook breakfast is when it's for dinner.

Jen said...

I'll have to borrow that book from you sometime. It looks hilarious! I too have done the whole, "oh that looks so good," and once it got to my mouth it was revolting! I want to try your recipe for that ramen salad. I've never had it but it looks and sounds great!

The Schoonies said...

I agree with you that lunch is the worst meal to fix. Sometimes it would just be nice if food fixed itself!!

dena4kids said...

I love ramen salad.Good stuff! I want to read the book as well. What I read was hilarious! I could use a good laugh!=)

Jeremy, Andrea & Halle said...

Amen on "What the heck to people eat for lunch"? I usually don't end up eating it either, crackers are usually the ticket. I am impressed you cooked so much when your parents were in town, I usually make mine take us out to dinner pretty much every night. I know I suck.

Matt said...

Amazing. You know what they say about great minds, you know? I just picked this book up last week from the library, along with his "Interior Desecrations" and "Mommy Knows Worst." You'd especially appreciate the latter as a parent, if you haven't read it already.